The Scent of Liquor and a Lullaby
by justastudent996
Summary: It was her quest to be reunited with her long lost parents. She lost faith when she heard her name called out at the reapings. Little does she know her parents are none other than District 12's escort and mentor.
1. Life in the Orphanage

**I was listening to the song 'Once Upon a December' from the movie Anastasia and it gave me hayffie feels (yeah, I know it's weird) Anyways, I then thought of this fic and it has been nagging me ever since.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games. If I did I would be making actual spin offs and checking the script for Catching Fire right now instead of writing fanfics and hayffie would've been canon XD**

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I looked out of the window and watched my friend Carissa walk out of the door and into the car with her new parents. She just got adopted; she will have a new family, a new home and her last name will be changed. She's lucky because she now has a family. I wish I had one. I'm happy for her but I can't help but to feel a little jealous. Everyone in the Porter House wants to get adopted, well, _almost everyone._

I'm Amaryllis Porter and I don't want to be adopted and have new parents. I want my old ones but I don't know who they are or if they're alive or not but I'm sure that they loved me.

The only memory I have of my parents is the scent of liquor and a lullaby; that's how I knew that they loved me: a lullaby. It is a melody that assures a child of love and safety. It is a musical manifestation of a parent's love to a child. They love me; I'm sure of it.

I closed my eyes then I hummed my special lullaby. I recalled the scent of liquor and for a short while I could almost feel my mother's embrace and my father's touch. I bet they were warm, gentle and comforting. They must have been loving and caring.

I'll find you then we'll be a family once again. I will be your daughter and you will be my parents; we will compete each other for we will be one family . I just need to find you but I don't know where I should start. If you're alive and if you're out there, are you looking for me too?

A distant ringing called me away from my trance. That must be the dinner bell..

I rushed downstairs and headed into the dining room. The scent of pork stew filled my nostrils. I wonder if my mother can cook pork stew; I bet it would taste great. It is my favorite dish.

"Man, you look like you haven't eaten in days!" jokes Rye. He's early, I noticed that he already has a tray of food.

Rye Porter, he's a good friend of mine and the self-proclaimed leader of the Porter House. Despite being a year older than me he tends to be more immature but I like that side of him. Things are usually gloomy here in the orphanage and we'll need all of the hilarity we can get.

"Days? More like weeks." I smiled.

"You know, you're not very good in humor."

"I'm not trying to."

"Good! Well, go get yourself a tray. I'll reserve a seat for you." he says before heading off towards the tables.

I went in line to get my helping. I then noticed that the serving lady was that old woman. I don't really know her name but she happens to be one of the many adults that detests me. I guess I'll be having the bony parts of the pig once again. This isn't my lucky day.

A lot of people seem to dislike me. It's because I'm different- I look different and I act different. I have the usual gray eyes that can be usually seen from the people of the seam but they say that my mannerisms and movements are somewhat _'capitol-like' _and nobody here likes the Capitol. I'm lucky to not have an accent; else everyone will shun me and make fun of my voice in the same way that they mock Effie Trinket's _'May the odds be ever in your favor.'_

She scowled at me before placing some stew into my bowl then she sneered when I left. I tried to ignore her and walked towards the vacant seat between Rye and Diyella.

"The old hag hates you!" Diyella exclaims.

She's a couple of years younger than me and she's rather cheery for someone who just lost her parents. The orphanage knows of her parents so she won't need the last name 'Porter(as in Porter House) like the rest of us.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious!" Rye says sarcastically.

"Well, it's true. That old hag hates Maryl!" she exclaims.

"Yeah, the wicked witch of the orphanage loathes her. Careful Maryl, she might put a curse on you!" Rye joked.

The two of them then laughed hysterically. The surrounding tables looked at us giving questioning looks. I looked down in embarrassment but that's the least of my concerns right now; what if she heard? She'll have our heads for sure.

"Guys, please stop that. We'll get into trouble if she hears you." I said.

"Oh you, always the good girl... Loosen up, we're just having a little fun with your arch nemesis" he smirked.

"Rye, she's not my arch nemesis and I don't think you'll find this funny when we get into trouble." I stated.

"Man, you're so uptight? I wonder where you got that; from your mom or from your dad." he said.

"I wish I knew... I wish I had more clues on their identity." I said. I'd settle for anything that can help me get to them. My lullaby and the scent of liquor isn't really enough.

"You do have more clues. Just look at yourself. You're a mass of contrasts. You have some features that proves that you are from District 12 yet your movements are Capitol-like. You act proper and polite but when someone does you or your friends harm it angers you and you become bitter and vengeful." he stated.

"Not to mention scary..." Diyella added.

He has a point. I'm 50% my dad and 50% my mom so I really am the best clue I have.

"Your a mess of opposites. Your parents must be like cats and dogs." he teased.

"But cats and dogs aren't so different. Cats are just dogs with college degrees." I joked.

"They are?" asked Diyella. That was an old joke but she seemed to have taken it seriously. Rye and I can't help but giggle at her naivety.

"So what's on our agenda for tonight?" Rye asks.

"How about we play truth or dare with John and Sheryl." Diyella suggested.

"Maybe, then we can go and finish the book Maryl suggested. That sounds like fun right?" said Rye.

"Well guys, that sounds really fun but I'm done with my meal so I think I will turn in early." I said as I rose from my seat.

"This early?" Rye questioned. We would always have a game of truth or dare with the other kids before bed, sometimes we would watch movies and at rare occasions we would go stargazing or we would read a few books. I never broke off from our routine before but now I just feel tired. I want to lay my head down my pillow and dream about my parents; if they're out there are they worried about me and the reapings?

"Yes, tomorrow is a big day. I'm kind of nervous actually." I admitted.

"It's just one slip. You're quite lucky the reapings didn't fall after your birthday. Else, you'll have more of a chance." he says.

"Yes I know but it's my first time. I'm still nervous."

"Okay, good night then..." He turned back to his meal. I could read the disappointment in his face; he never shows it but he hates having to be alone with Diyella. I'm sorry Rye, but I have made my decision.

"Good night Maryl! I'll see you tomorrow. Good luck with the reapings!" she exclaimed.

"Thanks! Good night to you too." I replied.

I did my usual routine- take a shower, brush my teeth, put on clean clothes and settle down on the bed with a good book. I looked around; no one else is going to sleep yet. I'm not really surprised, curfew is 10:30 pm and it's only 8.

I grabbed my copy of Silas Marner by George Eliot, it's a good story that I have read many times. Rye and Carissa gave it to me on my 12th birthday. It's about this miser that eventually opened up to the world thanks to his adopted daughter. It's my favorite book. I think Silas and Eppie's relationship is very sweet; they complete each other. That's why Eppie didn't have the heart to leave her adoptive father behind when she meets her true parents. That's the kind of relationship I wish to have with my parents when I meet them. I want us to be a family and something that's not so easily torn.

After going through a few pages I felt heaviness in my eyes. I closed the book shut and settled further into my bed. Tomorrow is a big day; I hope I won't be reaped. No, I'm being silly. It won't happened; I have a one in a thousand chance to be picked. It won't be me I'm sure of it...but still... I can't help but to worry.

What if I'm not the one that's reap but someone close to me is? What if it's Rye;will I have the heart to see him die on screen and he has so much to live for. What if it's my good friend Prim. No, that's impossible, she can't be reaped. She only has one slip in there like me and knowing her sister,she would undoubtedly volunteer for Prim.

I shouldn't really think about this... No one's going to the Capitol. I'm sure that everything will be alright.

I start to hum my special song. I closed my eyes and everything went dark fora brief moment. I then realized that I was back with my parents; I couldn't see their faces but I could hear their humming.

_Pleasant dreams, scare away the nightmares of tomorrow..._

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**You guys probably know where this is going...**

**And yes Katniss, Prim, Peeta, etc will also appear in this fic but they will be recurring characters. I'll try to give them important roles but I honestly don't have an idea on where I should place them. Well, I know where to put Prim and Katniss but Peeta, not so much.**

**Note: Any relation to the main character's name and that of a 'certain person' is purely coincidental.**

**Anyways, your reviews are much appreciated ^_^ **


	2. Our Little Girl

**Okay, I reread the first chapter and I was like "ZOMG! That's not my best work (I have extremely high standards) -_-. That doesn't look like something my 16 year old self would write." Then I realized that the main character was 12 and didn't have the same thoughts as a 16 year old -_- Anyways, I won't be making any futile attempts to write in Effie or Haymitch's POV in this story... for now.**

**Before and during I wrote these chapters I listened to a few parents-child songs and sad instrumentals and let's just say that I got really emotional.**

**Anyways, here's the second chapter in no one's POV**

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She looked out of the window and into the horizon, she saw some children playing in the distance. Is her little girl out there too? A tear escaped from her eye; she couldn't help but think of the young little girl she held in her arms 12 years ago. She could never forget her soft delicate skin and how smooth and soft it was against her touch nor could she forget about the gray orbs that held so much love and happiness. She also remembered her cries; oh how annoying it was but now it would be remembered as music in her memory. She could never forget her little girl.

She wonders what has become of her now; Did she find another family; one that would care for her and love her as if she's their own? Is she being cared for? Who reads her stories and who tucks her in at night? It is also a possibility that she is in an orphanage somewhere; being cared for yet filled with angry and bitter thoughts of how her parents has left her in such a cold and dreaded place. Maybe she's not even out there but somewhere else; a paradise where the fallen would be welcomed into His arms.

No, she shouldn't think like this. Her little girl is out there with a new family maybe. She couldn't help but feel jealous of the couple that is receiving all of her daughter's love. How lucky they are to be able to hold her own in their arms. How she longed to be in their place right now. She hopes that they will care for her and make her happy; it hurts to think of her little girl calling someone else "mom" but it's the best outcome for her daughter that she can think of.

He walked towards her and wrapped his arms lovingly around her in an attempt to comfort her. She leaned into his chest; seeking his warmth. He could sense her sadness, he could feel it radiating through her touch. She misses their little girl; he misses her too but he knows better than to show any signs of it. She needs him to be strong; she needs him to comfort her.

"Today is her first reaping..." She says with a hint of sadness in her tone. He held her hand with his own and wiped away her tears with the other.

"I know..." he whispered into her ear.

"W-what if- What if- s-she gets reaped!" She turned around to face him. She looked at him in the eyes. There was sadness in them too and the tears were welling up; daring to trail down his cheeks. She tightened her grip onto his arms and buried her face into his chest. She sobbed and cried; soaking his garment in her warm, salty tears. He drew circles on her back comfortingly but he doubts that they had any actual effect on her.

"It's unlikely Effie..." he reassures her.

"B-but t-there's still a chance Haymitch. Wh-What i-if if-" She said in between sobs. He held her tightly and he wiped away a few more tears with his sleeve.

"Shhh..." he hushed her. He traced her jawline with his index finger then he tilted her head upwards to meet his gaze. Her eyes were shiny and bloodshot; he couldn't help but think about the nights in which she cried herself to sleep. Did she cry just as much as he did?

For a long while they didn't move; they just looked into each others eyes, seeking comfort from each other's gaze. A void was formed in their chests the moment that their little girl was taken away from them. They doubt it will ever be filled; they doubt they will be truly happy again but there will always be an ounce of hope in their hearts that made them dream that one day they might see their daughter again.

Sometimes they would think it is a punishment for they have sent and will send young innocent children to their deaths. How their parent's hearts must have been crushed the moment they heard their child's name called at the reapings. They know the pain; to have your child taken away and to be unsure of their fate. That feeling of grief is unbearable. It eats through your heart and consumes your very soul.

"W-why d-does Snow have to take her away?" She asks. Although they both knew the answer to that. Reputation- Snow couldn't risk the scandal between District 12's escort and mentor get out so he took the baby away. For years they tried to locate her but all of their attempts were in vain.

"The reapings is a few hours away... You better get ready." he said as he lowers hid head and kisses her gently on the forehead. They gave each other another comforting look before loosening their embrace.

"Okay, don't be late..." she replied.

"Don't worry sweetheart. I won't" he reassures her as he wipes the last few remaining tears.

She walked towards the door and gave him one last look before closing the door shut. He then found himself alone as he'll ever be. He never shows it to her but inside he's dying as well.

After the quarter quell, after they killed off his family he thought that they can't hurt him anymore and that he can't be tortured any further. He was wrong; he was dead wrong because he found himself mourning over the loss of another loved one. They took away his last ounce of hope; the life he had helped create.

He found himself fumbling through his liquor, looking for the strongest one. He managed to grab hold of the needed bottle and he took a swig. He was used to the burning in his throat and he was used to it's bittersweet taste but he can never get use to the hollow feeling he has prior to getting drunk.

He wanted to get lost in his alcohol; to erase Effie's tears out of his mind, to tone down his anger towards Snow, to forget his own games and it's consequences, to forget the tributes he sent to their deaths and to forget that he lost he person he cared for the most.

His liquor is his sanctuary; it would erase all the pain, it would scare away all of the darkness. It assured him of safety and it gave him a false sense of comfort.

_But liquor can never make you forget completely..._

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**Okay, I hope I did justice with this chapter. I had a harder time with this one compared to the first one despite this one being notably shorter with minimum dialogue.**_  
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**I appreciate all of your reviews. I'm glad this story has so many positive feedbacks. You guys are all so nice :D **

**Please review when you have time **


	3. A dream is broken

**Chapter 3... This is in Maryl's POV **

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I rubbed my eyes and stared out of the window. I watched the sun rise from the horizon; its gentle color touching the surface of the clouds, bathing the whole sky in a soft delicate orange.

I saw a few birds fly off into the distance; they're mockingjays. They resulted from the breeding of the jabberjays, and the mockingbirds. The government doesn't like mockingjays; they say that it is a sign of their mistake but the districts like them because their mere existence ridicules the Capitol. I like them for a different reason though; they showed us that 2 completely different things; the mockingbird; a bird from the wild and the jabberjay; a mutt that was originally created to aid the Capitol could get along, survive together and create something wonderful.

It's still dawn. Everyone was still asleep; they all look so peaceful and safe but I know that won't be true in a few more hours. Anyone can be picked- even me but it's a one in a thousand chance so we say it's impossible but that doesn't change the fact that there is a chance. Funny how we would lie to ourselves with simple words but it's our escape; our comfort from the possibility of certain death. Is lying so wrong then?

The Hunger Games; they say its a way to keep the districts in line and a way to prevent another rebellion from happening. Funny how I never put much thought into it's purpose until now. They say that it's cruel and unusual and I couldn't agree more but I don't blame the Capitol though. It's probably just a sport to them, they don't know about the pain that they can cause. No I don't hate them but I do pity their ignorance.

I got out of the room and headed towards the kitchen. Maybe I can help prepare breakfast; I have nothing else to do anyways.

"Oh Maryl, good morning! You're up early." greeted Mrs. Porter.

Mrs. Porter is the head caretaker of this orphanage and she is also the wife of the orphanage's owner, Mr. Collin Porter. They're a nice couple, they were childless so they're really welcoming when it comes to kids. They say that we're like their sons and daughters. I couldn't say the same for the other workers in here though.

"Do you need any help ma'am?" I asked.

"Sure, I need a little assistance in chopping some vegetables."

I grabbed a medium sized knife and I got to work. After we prepared breakfast I ate my meal with Rye and Diyella. We kept it casual, as if nothing is going to happened later on; Rye kept making jokes about 'my arch nemesis' and the other adults in the orphanage, Diyella was contently laughing and agreeing with Rye and I'm changing the topic to something about my parents. I wonder if they're getting tired of hearing about my lullaby?

I placed my bowl into the sink then I saw Mrs. Porter holding out a bag of cookies.

"For good luck..." she says.

"Thanks Mrs. Porter." I smiled at her.

"I know it's your first time. Don't be nervous okay. It's unlikely for you to get reaped." She says.

"I'll keep that in mind ma'am. Can I go to Prim's. I want to share some cookies; it's her first time too."

"Alright, just be back before 10:30." she replies.

"Okay, thanks a lot ma'am."

I grabbed my coat and headed towards the door. It was a 15 minute walk to her place but I kept myself occupied by munching on a couple of cookies. Prim is my sole friend outside the orphanage. She lived with her mother and big sister. The Everdeens are all really nice. I can't imagine District 12 without them.

I knocked on the door and was greeted by Mrs. Everdeen.

"Good morning Maryl, Here to see Prim?" She asks.

"Good morning to you to ma'am. Yes, I brought her and Katniss some cookies."

"Why thank you. Please come in. Prim is just tending to her goat."

I sat down in their drawing room. I've known Prim since kindergarten but I never talked to her until her father died. It was really sad; I know what it's like to not have a dad so one day Prim just walked up to me and opened up. I comforted her and we became fast friends.

"Maryl." she greeted.

"Hello Prim." I walked to her and we did our secret handshake. Her eyes then drifted towards the bag I placed on the table.

"Oh cookies!" she exclaims.

"I brought them for you and Katniss. Where is your sister anyways?" I asked.

"Out hunting with Gale." she replies.

"Oh. Well, be sure to leave some for her."

"If she's lucky." She smirked.

We played with Buttercup and I helped her and her mom organize some of their medicines. This is another cool thing about visiting the Everdeens; I learn so much about natural remedies. They can be quite useful; especially if you reside in one of the poorest districts. Commercial medicine is just too expensive at times. I got back to the orphanage at around 10.

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I looked at myself in the mirror. I was wearing a simple baby pink dress with a skirt that falls to just above my knees. It's something I got from Christmas last year; it's my favorite dress but I rarely use it though.

"You look really beautiful..." says a familiar voice.

I turned around and saw that it was Rye. He was dressed in black slacks and an old yellow dress shirt and his dark brown hair was combed back.

"You look great too." I replied.

"Thanks, so are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Just give me a second to fix my hair."

"Yeah, it's soaked, like that doormat in front of the bathroom." he smirked.

"Whatever..." I rolled my eyes.

"Girls, takes them forever to get ready. I'll be waiting downstairs then." he said before he left.

I dried my hair with a towel and fixed it in a half-ponytail. I inspected myself in the mirror once again. I don't look that bad. I then walked out of the room to meet up with Rye.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yeah..."

We walked together side by side. It was still early so we didn't rush and we didn't talk either. My heart would beat faster with each step. I looked around; taking in each and every detail of the district as I can. The chance may be one to a thousand but there's still a chance and I need to appreciate District 12 before it's too late.

Out into the distance I could see the justice building, the stage assembled and the crowd that is slowly gathering in front of it.

I then realized that no one else from the Porter House came with us. Aren't we all required to attend the reapings?

"Hey Rye?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are the others? Aren't they coming.

"They are but they said that we should go ahead. Said something about being early here will prepare you for the reapings." he replied.

"Oh."

We continued to walk in silence until we reached the place. We lined up for the registration. They just took a drop of blood and checked our attendance so it was rather quick. I went to the area of my age group and I could read the fear in their eyes. I myself was scared to but I held my tears; it is improper to cry in public.

I felt my heart race and my palms began to sweat. I took in a deep breath then I hummed my special lullaby. The world stopped; I couldn't hear the crowd nor could I feel the wind against my face. I was stuck in my own little world; the place where I can be with my parents. There was nothing but darkness, a humming, my parents' touch and the scent of liquor. There is no reapings, there are no games.

"Hi Maryl." a voice broke me out of my trance. I opened my eyes and I saw Prim. The anxiety is written on her face and her eyes were red and I could see traces of dried tears that ran down her cheeks.

"Prim are you alright?" I asked.

"J-just a little nervous..." she stutters.

"We have one in a thousand chance Prim..." I reassured her.

"But that's still a chance." she stated. She's right, we can never really say that we're safe. A few years ago a 12 year old was reaped. I don't think that's fair; we're young, we shouldn't be out fighting in an arena.

We placed our attention to the stage. It was all prop up; there were 3 chairs on stage; two are occupied and the last one is empty. One is for Mayor Undersee, the other one is for Effie Trinket; our district's escort and the empty one is for Haymitch Abernathy; the sole living victor of District 12.

Effie stood up from her seat and walked towards the microphone. A big smile was painted across her face but I couldn't help but notice the sadness in her eyes. Then it made me think; What is beneath that smile? Is she truly happy or is this also a day that she dreads? What makes her happy? What makes her cry? Who does she think about at night?

Her loud microphoned Capitol voice broke me away from my thoughts. "Welcome to the 74th Annual Hunger Games!"

"Her voice scares me a little..." Prim whispered.

"Really? I kind of like her voice." I admitted. I like the Capitol accent; I think it's classy but one will get mocked in the districts if they have that.

"As you all know our District has one living victor so let us welcome District 12's very own Haymitch Abernathy!"

We all watch Haymitch drag himself across the red carpet. With each step he started to look sicker and sicker. I wonder how many bottles of alcohol he had today because right now all of that is being spilled onto the Capitol's expensive red carpet.

Effie scowled at him but I don't think he noticed because he continued the rest of the way as if nothing had happened. He walked up towards the stage and did the unexpected; he hugged Effie onstage. I couldn't tell if he's trying to grope her or not but I am pretty sure she's annoyed with him. She tried to break free and push him away. He fell unconscious on the ground.

I could hear snickering; even Prim was resisting the urge to laugh."Well that was..."

"Fascinating!" I finished her statement. What a way to break the tension you two! District 12 is proud!

She then continued as if nothing had happened. "The time has come to select one courageous young man and woman to have the honor of representing District 12 in the 74th Annual Hunger Games. Now, before we begin, our friends from the Capitol have prepared a special presentation for us." She directed our attention to the huge screen.

The 'special presentation' was this video about the rebellion 74 years ago and how the Hunger Games came to be. It was suppose to be a way to keep the districts in line. I don't think it's needed though; the mere thought of District 13 and the strict law that they implement is enough to keep us all in line. It lasted about 3 minutes then the screen went black.

"I just love that!" she exclaims but I doubt she really did.

"Ladies first!" She exclaims before walking towards one of the bowls. She took out a single slip of paper and walk back towards the microphone. She opened the folds and smoothed it out and read the name.

What a heard was the very thing that I have been dreading. I felt my heart stop and I couldn't move my feet. The name that was called was none other than my own. Everyone was giving me sad worried glances. They can volunteer but they dared not to and I don't blame them. I know well that someone has to partake in their games; someone has to die.

In that very moment I felt all of my dreams shatter; all of those dreams and fantasies are all for nothing. A void was formed in my heart; it was getting bigger, it was eating through my very soul. It was crushing my heart and it was suffocating me. I then found myself lost in the darkness of the real world.

_The thought of death awakens one to reality..._

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**Okay, tell me what you guys think of this chapter. I had a hard time thinking of Effie's dialogue so I took the one from the movie (Disclaimer: I do not own that part) or at least in the way I remembered it and I added the scene with Haymitch. I wonder why they removed that from the movie? I was gravely disappointed when they removed it. -_-**

**Also, I would like to inform you guys that I read the 3 books online, I forgot a few minor details and I lost the link so I'm going to be having a rather difficult time trying to figure out the process and preparations for the games. Please bear with me, it's not going to be as book accurate in terms of how the gaming preparations are done but I will do more research on the matter.**

**Anyways, thank you for all of the reviews guys. I appreciate them ^_^**


	4. Sense of Familiarity

**Okay, before this chapter I just want to settle the issue with the color of Effie's natural hair. I've read all 3 books and I don't remember any mention of her hair color. At first I assumed she was bald but then it occurred to me that that was unlikely. I've read thousands of HG fics; some of them say that Effie is a ****brunette, one said that she was a redhead but I have observed that most of the time she is blonde (I think it is because Elizabeth Banks is blonde) moving on; I have decided to make her blonde in this story (like all my other stories). I will also give her blue eyes in this story by the way :D**

**Speaking of hair color; what is Haymitch's real hair color anyways? I know that in the movie he's blonde but I recall that in the book they said that his hair was "dark" so a lot of us assumed it was really brown but what is it really? You know what I'm going to make him blonde too; a dark blonde. **

**I just want to settle this because I can't make a physical description of Maryl without settling this.**

**Anyways, it's test crossing time! (sorry, I want to make this fic somewhat realistic in terms of genetics and I need to practice my test crossing)**

**Legend: *the dominant gene is the one capitalized***

**G- gray eyes b-blue eyes H- honey blonde d-dark blonde L-fair/light skinned o-olive skinned**

**Haymitch: Gb dd oo Effie: bb Hd LL**

**Chances: 50%-Gb(heterogeneous gray eyes) 50%-bb(homogeneous blue eyes) 50%-Hd (heterogeneous honey blonde) 50%-dd (homogeneous dark blonde) 100%-Lo(heterogeneous light/fair skinned)**

**Possible Combinations: ****Gb dd Lo, bb Hd Lo, bb dd Lo, Gb Hd Lo**

**Amaryllis: Gb Hd Lo**

**Sorry for the long introduction. Anyways, here's the next chapie in 3rd person POV**

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Her own name kept ringing in her ears. It sounded almost haunting; it was like a siren's song that calls a sailor to his death. Death, she knows well that it will come soon. She can only hope that it will be swift and painless instead of the agonizing long and painful deaths she saw on the screen so many times before.

Her heart rate sped with each step until it felt like her heart was going to jump out of her chest. She tried to act brave but fear shown through her eyes.

Her heart was filled with grief and fear. It ate through her very soul and it left a gaping void in her very being. All of those days of dreaming are just distant memories. Dreams, all of them were shattered and thrown away to the dust. The light that gave her hope has dimmed and it left her alone in the darkness.

She reached the stage and for a split second her eyes made contact with that of Effie's. The two women felt a sense of familiarity but both of them shrugged it off quickly.

Amaryllis looked out into the crowd. Her eyes searched for her friends, she noticed that they all looked remorseful and sorry. She doesn't need their pity. It can't help her win the games nor can it comfort her for it only brings more pain to her.

"Now for the boys!" Exclaims Effie. She walked towards the second bowl and took out a piece of paper. She opened it up and smoothed it out.

"Maximillian Radley."she exclaims.

Everyone then looked at the tall 17 year old. He appeared uninterested and bored and he showed no trace of fear when he walked towards the stage. He looked out towards the crowd then he glanced at his fellow tribute. They looked at each other with remorse for they both know that they couldn't make it back alive.

* * *

Amaryllis stared at the door, wishing that her parents recognized her earlier and would visit her before she leaves for the Capitol. Just a single moment, that's all she needs. The door creaked open; she held her hopes high. A man and a woman entered but she knew well that they are not her parents.

"Hello Mr. and Mrs. Porter." She greeted them with a sad smile.

The couple looked at her with sympathy and love then they drew her closer and embraced her. They both have come to love her as if she's their own. They knew quite well of what will become of her so they all held on to that one moment; taking in each and every detail of the present.

"Take care..." Mrs Porter whispered into her ear.

"I will..." she replied. She loosened the hug then looked at the couple before her, giving them questioning looks.

"Mr. and Mrs. Porter, can you give me more information about my parents?" she asks them. Her eyes were begging for answers. This is a crucial moment for her; she has to know them before she perish.

The couple gave sad glances at each other, as if their conversing in their minds. They turned back to the young girl in front of them and they simultaneously shook their heads. Tears started to well up in her eyes; that was it- her last chance and her last ounce of hope- gone.

"Just don't forget yourself..." Mr. Porter told her.

She knows well what he meant. She needs to hold on to her true self. No matter what happens she must not let the games change her into something she is not. She must stay true to herself and to her own values, till her death. She is more than willing to follow his advice because she wants to make everyone proud and that would include the parents she never knew.

"Before you leave. I think you must know that it was Granny Dorothy who brought you into the orphanage in the first place." Mr. Porter tells her.

She then recalls that the old serving lady was addressed as Granny Dorothy. It then made her think if the old woman who showed much contempt to her was hiding something. It made her wonder if she had more to do with her history than she initially thought. What was she hiding beneath that scowl?

"T-thank y-you for telling me..." she replies in between sobs.

They hug one last time and they left her alone in that small room once again. She felt warms tears stream down her cheeks. She tried to stop them and be strong but she can't, for the pain is just too muck for her to bear.

She heard the door creak open so she wiped her tears but the redness was still visible. Rye and Diyella entered the room. They took turns in hugging her. They savored that moment, for they know it could possibly be the last time they see their friend.

"Are you going to die, Maryl?" Diyella asks with sadness in her tone.

"I am..." she replies.

"Maybe you should a method for your demise right now. Starvation is always a popular choice." Rye teased.

Maryl glared at him. She is usually amused by his ability to make a joke out of each situation but she found his last joke to be rather offensive. Her own death is no laughing matter to her. She refused to say anything though because she knows that now is not the time to get angry at him.

"Yeah..." she replies.

"We'll never forget you..." his tone became serious; there was a hint of remorse and sincerity in his voice.

"Please don't." Her voice came out sounding desperate. It almost sounded like she was begging.

"Bye Maryl... W-we'll miss you!" Diyella grabbed her shoulders and hugged her tightly. Her eyes started to well-up; the thought of loosing another loved one left an aching in her heart. She dreaded this day-they all did.

"I-I'll m-miss you too..." She replied. Her voice came out strained. She was not ready for this and she doesn't want to leave her friends nor does she want to let go of her hopeless dream.

"Diyella, we have to go!" Rye reminded her. He tried to pull her off from their embrace but she clinged to her friend.

"You have to go!" She was hesitant to let go of her friend but she did because it will be more painful not to.

"Try to win... Maybe you can live through this." Rye said right before they left.

Her next visitors made no hesitance to enter; they were the Everdeens. She hugged her friend upon seeing her.

"Prim, H-how- I-It was a one in a thousand chance!" She exclaims. Tears started to stream down her cheeks once again; she was still in denial of her fate. A part of her believed that she was just stuck in some horrible nightmare that was a manifestation of her nervousness; she wished that she would wake up in her own bed and forget all of this.

"I-I'm sorry this happened to you. You shouldn't be here." Prim replied. They both took a deep breath then they loosened their hold.

Katniss took her by the shoulders and looked at her straight in the eyes. She had the need to tell Maryl the basics of survival for she knows that Haymitch will be little or of no help to the young girl.

"Listen to me, maybe you can win this. You've helped mom and Prim, you have knowledge on herbs; use it. When setting up camp make sure there are no tracker jackers around; a single bite can knock you out for days and don't light fires at night; think of another way to keep yourself warm. Fire will attract the attention of the other tributes. Do you understand?" She nodded in reply. Everything looked blurry because of the tears in her eyes and it was hard to focus with all of the thoughts in her head but she somehow managed to take in all of Katniss' words.

"Take care Maryl..." said Mrs. Everdeen.

"I will ma'am."

They left. She thought that she had no more visitors and that the peacekeepers will be the next one who will come through that door; taking her to the taxi that will bring them to the train station. Then the door opened and the least likely person entered the room.

It was her 'arch nemesis'- Granny Dorothy.

"I-I'm sorry about everything, dearie... Do you have the heart to forgive me?" She took her hands into her own then she looked at the young girl. Her eyes were begging for her forgiveness.

This gesture caught Maryl off guard. She always thought that the woman hated her and she couldn't help but dislike the woman at times but her heart softned towards the woman before her so she nodded in reply.

"Oh thank you so much! You're very forgiving. Here, take this; I know it's your favorite. This is just the broth but I hope that you'll still enjoy it." She hands her a vacuum flask filled with pork stew. She took it and whispered a thanks.

"Granny, do you know anything about my parents?" She asks.

"Yes, maybe it's time you know the truth..." There was sadness and anxiousness in her tone but she knows she must tell her. She kept it for too long now and there's no reason to hide it any longer.

"I was the one who brought you to the orphanage... Do you know that?"

"Mr. and Mrs. Porter told me that." she said in reply.

"Know that you're parents loved you very much and never think that they did not. You had to be taken away from them. It wasn't their choice. They tried to look for you but they couldn't find you." She continued.

Happiness filled her heart for she had always thought that her parents loved her but hearing someone else say it confirmed her thoughts. The need to find them intensified which made it harder for her because she has given up on her search. It did made her wonder why was she taken away in the first place.

"Why was I taken away?" She asks.

She took a deep breath before she spoke "Because your parents are-" She was cut off. The door opened and a peacekeeper pulled her away from the room.

"Time is up!" he exclaims.

"N-no wait! Granny who are they?" She tried to follow her but she wasn't fast enough. The one person who could give her answers is far away from her now. The once of hope that came back to her the moment she told her that her parents loved her fell out of her grasp once again and she never felt so miserable before. She cried because she couldn't contain all of the pain in her heart. The very thing that held her together all those years is the same thing that is breaking her apart.

* * *

Effie glanced on her either side. The male tribute was looking out the window. He showed no fear and he looked quite bored. The girl couldn't stop crying; her eyes were bloodshot and she couldn't stop sobbing. They were both silent.

She felt a sense of familiarity when she looks at the girl. She couldn't help but think that she met her before but that would be absurd. She thought that maybe the young tribute reminded her of her own little girl who, if she remembered correctly, is about the same age and has the same honey blonde locks. Because of this implication she felt a closeness to the girl but she dared not to show it nor to tell a soul about it for she will certainly be mocked and criticized for forming a bond with the least-likely-to-win tribute.

She tried to lighten the mood by talking about the luxuries and pleasures that they will have prior to the games but they both paid no attention to her, rendering all of her efforts in vain.

When the taxi pulled up to the train station they all inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. None of them could take the eerie yet awkward aura in the taxi. They all walked towards the train in silence.

Effie couldn't stop looking at the 12 year old. She couldn't help but feel sorry for her; such an innocent little girl who will die at a very young age. She regretted having to pull out her name from the reaping bowl and she couldn't help but think about the parents of this young girl and how they must have felt when they heard their daughter's name called at the reapings.

They were met by a now-conscious Haymitch at the train entrance. Upon seeing the female tribute he was hit by the same sense of familiarity that Effie had.

* * *

The two tributes looked at him. They did not speak but he was sober enough to know that they're asking for advice. Advice, it will be worthless. He knows that they will both die - at the bloodbath most likely. He knows from experience that his efforts will be in vain.

"So can you give us some advice? You're our mentor right?" asks the boy.

"Well, you two should accept your inevitable demise." he said right before taking a swig of alcohol.

"That's rather pessimistic of you." He replied.

"Well, get used to it. How about you sweetheart, do you have something to say?" He turned his attention towards his female tribute. Her gaze met with his and he couldn't help but notice that they have the same eyes. He suddenly felt sympathy towards the young girl because she reminded him of his own. He has always wondered what has become of his daughter.

"Why do you drink so much?" She asks. The mentor reminded her of her own parents. He has the same smell that she distinctly remembered from her infancy. She shrugged off the possibility that Haymitch is her father; she thought of it as absurd and impossible. She then came to the conclusion that maybe all liquor smelled the same.

"To forget and I have a lot to forget." he replied.

"Can I have a bottle then? Something strong maybe?" She asks.

Haymitch was shocked by her request; it's not everyday that a 12 year old would ask liquor from you. He allowed her to take one bottle though for he thought that, since her life has been cut short, indulging her with the pleasure of forgetting is the least he can do.

She brought the liquor to her room. She closed the door shut, then she sat down on her bed. He told her it was to forget and that's what she needs right now; she needs to forget about the reapings and the death that will come to her soon.

She touched the bottle to her lips and spilled it's contents into her mouth. The alcohol burnt her throat but it felt good.

She thought she heard someone humming her special lullaby from the other room. It sounded just like the one from her memories but this one seemed real. She concludes that her depression and the thought of death is slowly driving her to insanity.

She took another swig of alcohol before humming her favorite tune. She started to daydream, only this time everything felt so real and vivid.

_One's dreams can become reality..._

* * *

**Okay, this is by far the longest chapter I've ever written in the history of my life. Anyways, I won't be updating as often as I want anymore because school is coming. I'll most likely be updating this weekly.**

**Anyways, I didn't choose Peeta (or Gale) to be the male tribute simply because I have to kill them in this story if I do but rest assured, I will try to include them in this fic (in some flashbacks maybe)**

**Please review if you have time. I appreciate them ^_^ (I'm just too lazy to reply to all the time -_-)**


	5. Effects of Liquor

**I've been receiving a few comments that I've been making a few mistakes in this fic so I reread all my previous chapters and you guys are right (I'm not really surprised though, I wrote all of the chapters in the middle of the night). I'm going to try and fix them immediately. I appreciate that, I really do. Just tell me when I made a few typos, grammatically incorrect statements, wrong use of words, jumping tenses, nonsense sentences and the like. I'm an aspiring author (as in non-fanfiction) and it will really help.**

**Sorry for the long update; school has already started and I'm going to be very busy but this fic will be updated weekly. **

**Anyways, 5th chapter.**

* * *

"HAYMITCH ABERNATHY!" Effie called upon seeing the young 12-year old, drunk and unconscious on the bed with a half-filled bottle of alcohol. She knows for a fact that the drunk mentor was responsible for the sad state of their tribute.

"What? What's with all the yelling?" he asks as he storms into the room. The scene before him didn't really surprise him much. He knows that young girl planned on getting drunk in the first place.

"Are you responsible for this?" She asks. She eyes were filled with fury. For all the things Haymitch has ever done this has to be the most appalling; liquor isn't something a little girl should be drinking.

Haymitch heaved a sigh before he replied. "She asked for them so what was I suppose to do?" He was drunk but he can tell that Effie was mad and he will get a good dose of scolding from her.

"How about saying no." she replies sternly.

"Listen sweetheart, it's no one's fault. She got drunk because she needs to forget. Is that so wrong?" he reasoned. He knows how traumatizing the games are and he knows how it can change a person. A tribute needs an escape-a sanctuary and no matter how inappropriate it may seem it does save one from the pain. Is it so wrong then?

"She's 12! She's just a little girl; she shouldn't be drinking these!" She exclaims. She knows of alcohol as an adult's drink and something to be taken in moderation. It is a vice to drink too much; it's a very inappropriate way to deal with one's problems.

"She's 12! She's just a little girl; she shouldn't be in the games!" His patience grew thin; he was angry at her statement. That girl is being send to her death at such a young age; how can she think that drinking liquor is inappropriate for her when she's going to be killed?

"Do you think I want her to be in the games? Do you think I enjoy sending innocent children to die each year? Do you think I enjoy seeing them killed, knowing that _she _might have been killed when she was taken away!" Tears started to well up in her eyes; the tribute just reminded her so much of her own. If she's out there and if she is still alive; she would look similar to the young girl.

She has in fact imagined the tribute to be her own daughter but she thought that as absurd. She probably has a family; one that loved her and cared for her. It was something that the two of them were never able to give to their daughter and she regrets it. She can only hope that she is out there; well of and being cared for.

"I-I'm sorry Effie... I didn't know she reminded you of-" he was cut off. Amaryllis woke up from her slumber. She scratched her head and looked at the two adults with confusion.

"Wha-what's happening?" she groggily asks.

The two of them looked at her. Their hearts softened and they both stopped arguing to attend to their tribute.

"Nothing sweetheart... Does your head hurt? You drank quite a lot." he asks with concern in his voice. Effie was right; he shouldn't have given any to her. He looked at the poor state of their tribute and his heart filled up with pity. He gave the girl an apologetic glance before giving one to Effie; for arguing with her.

She groaned and forced out a yes. Her head hurt so bad; it feels like it's going to explode. She couldn't think clearly and she can barely focus.

"A glass of water ought to help." says Effie right before she walked out of the room to get the poor girl a glass.

Haymitch sat down by her bedside, he looked at the young girl before him and heaved a sigh before speaking up.

"I shouldn't have given you liquor..." he said.

Amaryllis could only groan in reply. She's such a young girl and it was her first time. She knew about hangovers but she didn't know it would be something like this for she has imagined it to be only a slight headache but this one was very different; her head ached twice as much as she would have thought, she felt weak, dizzy and she couldn't focus on anything.

Haymitch looked over to her side table and noticed a vacuum flask sitting next to the lampshade. He took it and opened up the seal. He took a whiff and he immediately knew it was pork stew. He was familiar with the dish simply because it was a good hangover cure.

"Stay here, I'll get you a spoon and a bowl." he got up and left the room. She followed him with her eyes. She kept her eyes on the door. Drunk or not, she wonders about Effie and Haymitch. Do they treat their other tributes like this? Why do they look familiar? What's going on between those two? What is she to them?

She knows well that she has no business to interfere with their lives but sometimes she just couldn't help it. Back at the orphanage she would sometimes she would look out of her window and watch people pass by, wondering if they have a family, if they were nice to them and if they would escape into their own fantasies when things go wrong. She mostly thought about her parents though; she would look at people's faces and wonder what her parents looked like.

A few moments later Effie came back carrying a glass of water. She sat down by her bedside and helped her move her head up. She pressed the edge of the glass towards the tribute's lips and tilted it a little. She took a few small sips right before moving away from the glass and collapsing back into bed.

The escort grabbed a clean handkerchief and wiped the sweat of her tribute's forehead. She looked at her with sympathy. "Better?" she asked.

Amaryllis couldn't focus. She only thought that Effie was being really nice to her and she didn't really expect that. She loved her kind gestures; she thought that if she had the chance to grow up with her parents her mother would be just as nice as her.

She started sinking in back to her dream world and her drunken state made everything confusing and in that moment she actually thought that the kind woman before her is her real mother.

"Yes, thank you mommy..." She answered.

Effie held back a sob. The girl was drunk and confused that's for sure but her reply reminded her of her daughter.

Moments later Haymitch walked back into the room carrying the bowl of pork stew. Effie have him a confused look, to which he replied that it was a good hangover cure.

They re-positioned her pillow to make her sit up. He moved the stew-filled soup towards her mouth and she eagerly opened it up. She ate slowly but continuously; savoring the creamy, herby and meaty broth.

Effie excused herself; she still has to run through her schedule to make sure that everything is happening on time and is going according to plan. Haymitch just continued to feed their tribute.

Once the bowl was empty he placed it on the side table and adjusted his tribute's pillow so she can go back to sleep.

He looked at her and thought that she was very fragile; like his daughter. He misses her and he sometimes wonder what has become of her. Does she have a new family? Is she in an orphanage somewhere or has their worst fear happened to her? He would also think of what will happened to her when she grows up; if she will be fussy and proper like her mother or if she will be drunk yet cunning like her father.

He removed a few stray hair strands from her face then he covered her with a warm and soft blanket. She looked so peaceful.

"Rest now. The hangover will pass, I promise." he said.

Haymitch's kindness made her even more confused. She wasn't expecting any of that from their mentor, he doesn't want to teach them survival so why is it that he cared all of a sudden? It didn't make sense but Amaryllis was too caught up in her fantasies to notice and she assumed that Haymitch was in fact her father.

"Good night daddy..." She said before Haymitch left.

This caught Haymitch by surprise but nevertheless, he smiled at the little girl, replied a good night and closed the door shut. He was reminded of his little girl and he thought that maybe, just maybe, Amaryllis can be some sort of daughter to him- even if it's just for a little while.

* * *

She was awoken by a gentle tugging at her shoulders. She opened her eyes and her gaze met with that of her fellow tribute. He looked really excited and pleased but she can only look at him in utter confusion; is the excited to enter the arena and die?

"Hey, are you alright now?" he asks.

She can only nod in agreement. Yesterday was a blur to her. She can barely remember a thing, the only thing that she remembered was her wonderful dream, wherein her parents gave her some water and stew before tucking her in to sleep. It made her feel happy because the dream was so vivid-it almost confused her with reality.

"Good! Get up, I want to show you something." He helped her up then he grabbed her hand and led her to the room with the biggest windows.

She could tell that they were in a tunnel for the outside was pitched black. She doesn't really find the darkness interesting so she deduced that what he wants to show her was at the end of the tunnel.

"We're just a few kilometers away from the Capitol." he says matter-of-factly.

The scene before them suddenly changed; they were not in the tunnel anymore. In the distance she can see tall infrastructures, most of them were made out of glass and steel, some have domed tops while other came in strange geometrical shapes. They both have never seen anything like it and they both can't believe that this will be their home for several weeks.

"Whoa!" she exclaims with excitement.

"I couldn't have said it better myself." he replies jokingly.

"H-how did you know about this?"

"I didn't. I just thought that the Capitol might look cool so I woke you up." he said in reply.

"I'm glad you did."

The train started to slow down and it eventually came to a stop in the station. People, who were strangely dressed, waved at them. They waved in return. Amaryllis liked that, she doesn't know why though. Maybe it's because a part of her believed that those people actually liked her but she isn't so sure.

Fear then started to overwhelm her. They are now in the Capitol and they are now closer to their deaths. She tried to hold back her fear; she can't show it-she shouldn't show it. Her nightmares were coming true; everything is becoming a reality.

_There is a fine line between imagination and reality..._

* * *

__**Again, sorry for the late update guys. Anyways, please review when you have time... :D**


	6. Insanity?

**Me: maybe I should lay off the fanfics for a while...**

**Friend: I couldn't agree more.**

**Me:**

**Friend:**

**Me: NAH! XD**

**This conversation happened in real life so here's Chapter 6 :D and this one is in Maryl's POV**

* * *

I was lying on some sort of table in a gray dimly-lit room. My prep team "cleaned me up" before sending me in here. They scrubbed me clean and hot waxed my entire body; it's not really as painful as one would imagine it to be.

I heard the door creak open and a man entered. Is he really from the Capitol? He's not wearing any of their gaudy fashions nor does he have any body alterations of some sort. If he is from here then he's the most normal-looking Capitol citizen ever.

"Hello I'm Cinna." he extended his hand. I took it and we shook hands.

"It's nice to meet you." I replied.

From this angle I noticed that he's not as "fashion-free" as I had expected. He has gold eyeliner but I think it brings out his eyes very well. It's pretty; I like it.

"I'm sorry this happened to you..." There was a sad tone in his voice and I could tell that he meant it. I wasn't really expecting any of this to come from him but by the looks of my current situation, the expected never happens.

"It's okay, it's not your fault. I'm just unlucky..." I said in reply. I can feel the tears well-up in my eyes. No, this is embarrassing; I shouldn't cry in front of a guy that I just met. That's improper.

"It's okay... It must have hurt, having to hear your name called." he said.

"Yes, it did-more than I could have ever imagine."

He gave me another concerned look. It almost looked like he knows that I'm hiding something and he's begging me to tell him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asks.

Do I want to? People always say that talking about it makes one feel better but I feel so shy. It's just not comfortable having to tell a person that you just met your depressing life story. Maybe he'll think I'm overreacting. I don't really know if I am and all I know is that I want to forget about all of this for a while so I shook my head in reply.

"I just want to forget it." I told him.

He nodded and he didn't bring it up again. He explained his idea on our costume. We both know that the past ones were "less than ideal". He said he wants to help us in anyway he can and I believe him. He just seems like the kind of person you can trust.

"So tell me, where do we use coal?"

"To keep us warm, cook meals, make fire." I said in reply.

"Exactly, because coal burns. Anyways, Portia and I didn't think of coal miners, we thought of coal itself." he says.

Wait, is he really suggesting what I think he is suggesting? Coal burns, they thought of it when coming up with our costume so they're going to set us on fire?

"Are you suggesting that-" I cut myself off. There is no way of saying it without sounding mentally challenged.

"Yes, don't worry. It's not real fire." he reassures me.

"Oh, at first I thought you have gone mad." I admitted. I sort of expected him to get angry because of my comment but he didn't; he even chuckled a little.

"Anyways, let's put on your costume and we'll meet up with Portia and Maximillian." he says.

* * *

The costume was nothing like I had expected it, aside from being black that is. It's this full-body suit that is made out of some shinny reflective black material. It doesn't really look like coal but I guess that will change in a little while.

My hair was fixed into 2 braids and they placed some make up; it wasn't much, just enough to "highlight my features" or at least, that was what Cinna said.

I saw Max on the far corner with his stylist. He waved at us to come closer. We walked towards him.

"Hey Max!" I greeted.

"Hi. You look good by the way." he smiled.

"Right back at you."

Cinna walked towards us holding up a small lighter. He pressed a button on the side and a flame suddenly erupted from the top. That is fake right? It looks real to me. What if he got the wrong lighter? What if that flame is real? No, I'm thinking about this too much. It's fake, why wouldn't it be?

"Are you scared? It's okay if you're scared." said Cinna with genuine concern.

Am I really that obvious? I'm usually good at masking my emotions but I guess the games have made me into a total wreck. Even up to now I'm still holding on to the possibility that this is all just a nightmare but it's reality. I shouldn't act this way; I'm being silly. I must now come to terms that I'll die in the arena and I'll never meet my long lost parents then maybe I can act like myself again.

"Here, maybe this will help." he said as he placed a finger through the flame. He held it in there for about five seconds before taking it out, his finger was unscathed. It really is fake.

He lit both of our costumes then helped us up the chariot. We're from District 12 so we're in the last. I can see the other tributes in front of us; they have excellent costumes but I can honestly say that we have the best. Cinna is not a nutcase; he's a genius.

"I'm a little nervous." I whispered to Max.

"Don't be. Everything's going to be alright." he reassures me.

I admire him for being so calm and collected. It would seem that he's unfazed by all of this. He's the kind of guy that can appear bored in the face of death. If he is scared or anxious, he's doing an excellent job in hiding it. I wish I can be more like him- so unaffected.

We started to move and in the far distance I can see the crowd of people cheering and hovering above them is a huge screen that shows the tributes of each district. We suddenly appeared on the screen and the crowd roared with excitement. It feels so exhilarating and exciting to know that those cheers were for us.

"Uh Maryl?" there was a trace of worriment in his tone. That's unusual for Max; he is always so calm and unfazed. Something must be seriously wrong.

"Why?"

"Look at your arm."

I looked down and saw that my sleeve was slowly corroding against the fire. The flame licked my forearm; I thought it would be hot and I thought that the pain would be excruciating but I didn't feel any pain, just warmth. Maybe I'm hallucinating or maybe I'm getting an adrenaline rush and it prevented me from feeling any pain but the fact still remains-I'm on fire.

I looked at Max and noticed that he's clothing was slowly being consumed by flames as well. We exchanged worried glances but that's all we can do. We're both too shocked and too scared to move.

The cheers of the crowd slowly faded away from my ears, I couldn't feel the air against my face; the whole world dulled around me. I hummed my lullaby; hoping to forget. Something must have went wrong; I knew the on fire thing was a bad idea. I had a bad feeling about this from the very start.

Well, I'm going to die anyways...

I tried to further ignore my surroundings and I hummed louder, then the world stopped. I can almost hear my mother's voice- humming my source of comfort, and I can almost feel my father's comforting embrace. There are no games, I'm no orphan and I'm not going to die.

I heard Max call my name and I was instantly pulled back to reality. I looked at him and saw the huge grin on his face. He certainly looks happy for someone who's about to be burned to death. What the heck is going on anyways? I don't understand any of this!

"We've t-transformed..." he placed an emphasis on the word transform.

I looked down and noticed that the flames are starting to die down and we were both left undamaged. My black suit is nowhere to be seen and it has been replaced by a sparkly orange sundress; it was the soft kind of orange, like the sunset. I looked at Max and saw that he's now wearing black pants and an orange short-sleeved dress shirt with the same shade of orange. We stood out; we were glowing- like the reflective sea waves being bathed in the gentle light of a sunset.

"Whoa!" I exclaimed.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." he smiled.

He offered his hand and took it. We then smiled and raised our interlocking hands; the crowd went wild. I don't think District 12 ever made such a big impression before.

A few moments later our horses slowed down and eventually came to a stop. The chariots were arranged in a semi-circle, we were surrounding a high balcony where a man was standing. I know who he is, he's none other than the infamous President Coriolanus Snow.

* * *

We got off, still smiling with excitement. I looked at the other tributes and my smile was instantly wiped off from my face; most of them were glaring at us. The tributes from one and two looked extremely pissed, four, seven, three and eight looked quite unhappy as well. The others didn't really care but the girl from district 9 was smiling at us. It wasn't the sort of mischievous or devious smile. It was a real one and I knew that she was sincerely happy for us, which was most unusual.

Effie and Haymitch came walking towards us with huge grins on their faces. I take it that they enjoyed our little 'performance' out there. Who wouldn't? Even we were surprised.

"That was astounding!" Exclaimed Effie.

"But we didn't really do anything." Max reasoned.

"It was great, nonetheless." She replied.

She turned to me and asked the most unexpected question. "Were you scared?" There was genuine concern in her voice which somehow made it weirder.

I think I have finally saw through Effie Trinket's mask. She was never happy about the games; there is always a hint of sadness in her eyes, there was concern in her voice. I can tell that she's hurting just as much as us. I don't know why but it feels like I've known her before and it's strange but I feel like I'm connected to her in a way.

"At first." I admitted.

"It's okay dear; it's over now..."

"Was it noticeable?" I asked.

"No, not at all. I was just concerned that's all." she replied.

* * *

We got the topmost floor. It's like we're living in this penthouse suite with avant-garde furniture, marble flooring and laminated glass-paned windows. I guess the upside to all of this is that we get to enjoy all of this for a little while but the thing is I don't want any of these fancy Capitol stuff; I want to be back in District 12 with my friends or better yet- I want to be with my parents.

Everything is just a distant memory, a thing of the past. I can never return to District 12, I'll never see my friends and I will never meet my parents. I'll never feel my mother's embrace, I can never listen to my father's advice, I can never be tucked in or be read stories to. The only thing I have is the scent of liquor and a lullaby and maybe that's enough to keep me sane until my death.

I was lying in bed, looking up into the roof, trying to get some sleep, when I heard a familiar tune; it was my lullaby. It's so vivid, it almost seems to be coming from the other room but I know it's not real. I must have gone insane. These games are toying with my mind- intertwining reality and imagination until I can barely tell the difference between the two.

_There is a fine line between sanity and insanity..._

* * *

__**Maybe I should stick to third person POV's... Anyways, I'll try to upload the next two chapters tomorrow or on Sunday (they sort of go together)**

**Anyways, please review :D**


	7. She's an Orphan

**Okay, forget I said that 7 and 8 are inter-connected. (this story is moving a little too fast for me -_-) Anyways, only one chapter because I'm doing all of this week's assignments. (Leave it to me to cram in advance... did that make sense?)**

* * *

They ate supper together without speaking or making any sort of remarks. The silence was eerie and unbearable but no one was willing to speak. It is as if they all made a silent agreement to not talk about their current situation at meal time.

Amaryllis was quick to finish her meals. She couldn't stand the dark aura emanating from them all. Death is in the air; she can sense it. She kept her hands steady and it got harder with every single bite. The other three looked at her with concern in their eyes. She shrugged them off before finishing off her meal and pushing herself away from the table.

"I'm done!" She exclaims as she storms off into her room. She kept her sight steady and it took all of her will not to look back. Tears were welling up in her eyes but she dared not to cry in front of them.

She shut the door tight before collapsing into her bed. She let the tears fall; her death is near. She knows well that she'll most likely be the first one to die in the bloodbath. Like that would matter anymore; she's good as dead anyways. Her dreams are dead, her whole future is dead, there is nothing left for her in this world and that's a fact that she's starting to accept.

She closed her eyes and hummed her lullaby once more. It's the only thing that can keep her sane and can keep her from falling apart. The sadness was too much and she has to hum louder. She felt the melody course through her veins and she was at peace once again.

She was lost in her own dream; her fantasy. She savored the warmth of her mother's embrace and she inhaled the sweet comforting smell of her father's liquor. "There are no games." they would tell her and she would believe them. These are mere fantasies that were manifested by the distant memories of the past but she holds on to them as if they were real.

She knows it well and anyone can tell that she is slipping into insanity; slowly loosing her very being...

* * *

The room remained quiet after she had left. The silence was even more uncomfortable than before for questions were racing through the minds of the mentor and the escort, the kind that the boy tribute might be able to answer.

"So, what can you tell us about Amaryllis Porter?" Haymitch asks.

"Not much really. I do know that she's twelve and she's a girl. Oh, and she lives in the Porter House." He didn't want to talk but nevertheless he answered Haymitch's question. He refuses to look at them though; he couldn't tell if he's just shy or angry- maybe a bit of both.

"The orphanage?"

"Yes, that's why Porter is her last name. She knows nothing about her biological parents' identity." His rage began to boil. It's really not fair to send a 12 year old to the arena, as for him, he really couldn't care less if he dies. He stopped caring about himself months ago.

"That's really sad..." Comments Effie.

"Yeah, it is but do you know what's great though? It's the fact that after all of this she might be able to see her family- if they were dead that is and I'll finally get to be with mine. Death is fine with me but what about her? Why send a 12 year old to die?" He was fuming. He glares at the two as if they demons before getting down from his seat and excusing himself from the table.

Both Effie and Haymitch were shocked at the 'usually quiet and unfazed' boy's sudden burst of emotions. They agree with him though; it was unfair. The two continues to eat in silence; trying to distract themselves with food.

After the meal they both sat on opposite sides of the couch as they watch that day's happenings. They just stared at the screen; watching the vivid flashing lights but neither one of them was actually paying attention to the program.

Effie was still processing the fact that the girl tribute was an orphan. She further holds on to her belief that the little girl is her own. It may sound crazy but it might be true. If it is, will that be a good thing? She can finally hold her daughter in her arms but the girl will die in the arena- she might not even outlive the bloodbath.

Haymitch was lost in his thoughts as well. The fact that the girl is his daughter crossed his mind as well but he didn't linger on it. That would be absurd- if not impossible. He contemplates on the possibility that maybe one of them could actually win; it's just a dream but maybe it can come true.

Effie was the first one to break the silence; she couldn't hold it in anymore "Do you think it's possible?"

"What's possible, sweetheart?" he replies.

"The girl, she's an orphan. What if she's ours? It's possible." she replies. Her eyes were filled with happiness; she waited for this moment.

Haymitch sighs before replying. He gave a sad and a serious look. "That's stupid, it's impossible and if she is what will that make of us? The parents who sentenced their own child to die?"

She didn't look up at him for she doesn't want him to see the tears that were daring to fall from her eyes. "You're right, it's stupid. I'm sorry..."

Haymitch softened his gaze against her as he realized the effect of his words on her. He slides closer to her then he wraps his arms around her waist.

"I'm sorry..." he whispers.

"D-don't be. You were right..." she replies.

He holds her tight. He draws circles on her back with his right hand while the other gently wipes the tears away from her eyes.

"I'm sorry... The kids shouldn't see us like this." she says.

"Effie, they're both in their room. I doubt they'll come out anytime soon." he replies.

They kept their hold on each other; seeking each other's comforting touch, sharing comforting words and heavy burdens. This wasn't new to them; they've done this last year, the year before that and even the year before that.

"I'm really sorry. It just hurts to think of our little girl being send into the arena..." he says.

Effie nods in reply. She understands, she feels the same way but she couldn't really help it. She felt a connection towards the tribute. She has this need to care for her and protect her but of course she can't do that. No one is safe from the games.

"I'm turning in early... Good night, Haymitch." she says.

"Good night, princess. Don't think about it too much okay..." he gave her a peck on the lips before loosening his hold on her.

"I won't." she lied. It really wouldn't help, the harder she tries not to think, the more she thinks about it.

Once she's out of earshot, he walks back into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of liquor. It's the only thing that keeps him together. It was his friend, his ally, his sanctuary; it keeps him sane.

* * *

Effie was a few meters away from her room when she hears a familiar tune. She tries to locate the source of the melody then she suddenly finds herself standing in front of the girl tribute's room. She places her ear against the door as she listened in, trying to confirm her suspicions.

Sure enough, the sound was louder there. She couldn't believe it. Has she gone insane? Has her thoughts and hopes finally brought her to her mind's downfall? Or is this reality? Could it be possible that the young girl is actually humming the tune of the lullaby that her mother used to sing to her, the same one that she sang to her own daughter ever night before she was taken away?

She has to confirm it. She needs to know before it's too late but what will the tribute think of her? She might think of her as crazy for thinking that they could be related or she might hug her tight- making up for the years that they were apart. There's also the possibility that the girl will only show contempt and hatred towards her. What mother wound send her own daughter to her deathbed anyways?

She's also being nagged by the possibility that the girl is not her own and she's just deluding herself into her own fantasies. Either way, she has to know the truth.

She gripped the doorknob and proceeded to turn it.

_One must face the truth head on, despite the consequences..._

* * *

**OOOOHHHH! SUSPENSE! ****Anyways, sorry for the late update. School has been really crazy and that's something I shouldn't take for granted. I haven't been updating my other hayffie fic as well, simply because I'm a little stuck in that one and it might turn into a tragedy if I try to write it now (I don't want to talk about the reasons okay T_T)**

**Anyways, all of your reviews are much appreciated. Please tell me when I'm skipping tenses, I really don't know how to check that one so I'll be relying on reviews. **


	8. Mother?

**Okay, I'm going to pay a lot of attention to this chapter simply because this and chapter 9 to a lesser extent will be the highlight of this story.**

**Note: Italized statements are flashbacks and/or song lyrics**

* * *

She loosened her hold on the knob; her fears kept her from opening the door that will inevitably lead her to the truth. She has to know but a part of her feared the truth. She closed her eyes and allowed the memories to flood in her mind.

_She held the small sleeping infant in her arms. She had never felt such happiness before; it was indescribable. She watched her baby's chest rise and fall; perfectly coordinated with her breathing. She felt her delicate soft pinkish skin against her hand. She felt her stir, the infant's face scrunched up and she started to cry._

_Effie looked at her young daughter with compassion. She closed her eyes and she started to sing the familiar song that her own mother has passed down to her. It was a special lullaby that only those in her bloodline would know about._

_Hush now my little angel..._

_Close your eyes and drift off to sleep_

_The stars are your guardians_

_and the clouds are your friends_

_I'll stay by your side till the very end..._

_Hush now my little angel..._

_I will keep you safe here in my arms_

_I love you my angel_

_You're a gift God has send_

_I'll stay by your side till the very end..._

_Her daughter ceased to cry. She looked up towards her mother and smiled. The tears welled up in Effie's eyes. At that very moment she couldn't be happier. Her daughter is safe and healthy; what more could she want. It felt as though a weight has been lifted from her heart the moment that her little girl smiled at her._

_The pregnancy wasn't easy and time and time again she kept thinking if she should really keep the baby. The child wasn't planned, her birth wasn't intended to happened but it did. How can someone that once brought her sorrow and burden become a source of joy in her life? How can someone that has brought her so much pain become her means to heal? She knows not the answers to these questions but she is certain that she made the right choice._

That was then and this is now. What decision will she make? Will it be the right choice? Is she brave enough to handle the truth? These questions were too much of a burden now. She must know and there's no turning back.

She gripped the knob once again and proceeded to turn it. She peered in and took a step inside the room. The humming immediately stopped when the girl sensed her presence.

Amaryllis sat up and looked back at Effie. Fear was written in her eyes. She knew well that her attitude at the table was uncalled for and it probably didn't meet up with the standards of the prim and proper escort. She is most certain that she will receive a good scolding.

"H-hello Ms. Trinket... Is there anything I can do for you?" She stammered. A part of her felt that addressing her formally would help her case.

"Hello Amaryllis. Mind if I talk to you for a while?"She smiled sweetly at the young girl and that seemed enough proof that she never intended to reprimand the girl for her table manners.

"No, not at all..." She replied.

Effie walked towards her bed and sat next to the tribute. Amaryllis tried to mask her shock and confusion. She felt a strange closeness to District 12's escort and she wondered if she felt the same. The feeling was strange and indescribable but it felt good.

"You were humming a lullaby earlier." She said.

The tribute looked down and started to fiddle with the hem of her shirt and she kept her head down; she can't face her. She wasn't suppose to her the lullaby, no one was suppose to hear that. Back at the orphanage, only a handful of people knew about her lullaby. It was supposed to be a secret but now she knows and trying to deny it won't really help.

"Yes..." she replied.

Effie smiled once again. Maybe it's true, maybe she is her daughter. It's a possibility but she know better than to hold onto false hope. She has to confirm it, she must know where the girl learned the melody.

"It has a good tune. Tell me, where did you learn such a song?" She asked. She wished that the question won't have any negative effects towards the young girl. She feared that she would intrude too much on Amaryllis' personal life and the girl would try to cut off any contact from her and any hopes of knowing the truth will be lost forever.

"It's a rather sad and complicated story. I honestly doubt that it would interest you, ma'am." she replied. The story felt distant now. It used to give her hope but now it's just a constant reminder that she'll never feel her parents' touch ever again. She's going to die in the arena without having known the truth.

"It's fine, I want to know. I just hope I'm not intruding too much." She replied with all honesty.

She was, by all means she was intruding too much but Amaryllis didn't tell her that. She is aware about the lullaby so what hurt would it do if she also knew the story behind it.

Amaryllis closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She tried to collect her thoughts and attempted to form them into understandable words. It was hard and painful for her to think and recall the past that can never be repeated.

"I don't know if you are aware of this but I am an orphan so you'll probably surprised to know that I first heard that melody from none other than my parent. I think it was my mother but I'm not really sure. I-I'm sorry, I know that doesn't really make sense." Tears welled up in her eyes. It was just too much for her to handle; pain, sadness and joy somehow intermingled in her system . She doesn't really know what she's suppose to feel.

"It actually makes perfect sense." Effie replied. In a way, she understood what the girl meant. Tears started to stream down from her eyes. The girl before her was the same one she held in her arms a few years ago.

"I recalled it from my infancy. The only thing I can remember about my parents- the smell of liquor and that lullaby. I've been trying to locate them for years... I don't know who they are or if they're still alive but I do know that they loved me. That lullaby proves it... Do you think they loved me?" It was strange that she was so hesitant at opening up at first and now she has just shared such valuable thoughts. These were the things that she has kept in her heart for so long and now they're all coming out of her mouth in a burst of emotion.

Effie couldn't hold it much longer. She moved closer to the girl and hugged her tight then she started to sing the song she sought comfort to whenever she remembered her lost daughter; the same one that served as a sanctuary to her little girl.

_Hush now my little angel..._

_Close your eyes and drift off to sleep_

_The stars are your guardians_

_and the clouds are your friends_

_I'll stay by your side till the very end..._

_Hush now my little angel..._

_I will keep you safe here in my arms_

_I love you my angel_

_You're a gift God has send_

_I'll stay by your side till the very end..._

Amaryllis was surprised by Effie's sudden gestures but it felt good. She sought comfort in her embrace and the song brought happiness and hope to her heart. The song spoke of safety and in that very moment the games were forgotten. There were no games and she was taken back to her mother's arms.

"You're right... They loved you and they still do... They very much do... We very much do..." Tears of joy kept flowing down her cheeks. It has been 12 years since she last held her little girl. 12 years of sorrow, mourning and wishing wasn't all in vain for she has her daughter once again.

Amaryllis wasn't quick to process the sudden turn of events but it all made sense; Effie knew the lyrics to the lullaby that was once just a tune to her and the hug; it was no ordinary hug. It felt as though her heart could leap out of her chest. All those years of dreaming and wishing was for something and hope came back when she lost it. She was with her mother once again.

"M-mother?" She asked for a confirmation; to see if she wasn't mistaken.

Effie just nodded her head and hugged her daughter tighter. Amaryllis buried her head in her mother's shoulder and wept tears of joy.

"I-I'm s-sorry... We should've tried harder! We shouldn't have given up..." 12 years of regret hit her hard. She and Haymitch should have tried harder. It shouldn't have come to this. She missed so much; her little girl's first words, her first step, her first day of school and a lot more. Neither she nor Haymitch was there to witness all of this and that felt like an arrow through her chest.

"I-it d-doesn't matter. T-the past doesn't matter. The most important thing is the present and that we're back together, mommy..." Mommy-the word was unfamiliar to her tongue. She never did once spoke of such a word until that very moment but it felt so natural.

Effie's heart lightened. Her burdens were lifted once she heard her daughter call her mommy. It was a simple gesture but it meant so much to the both of them.

For a long while they both just sat there; making up for all of the lost years apart from each other. It felt like a dream come true for both of them. Effie could hardly believe that this was the same baby she held in her arms so many years ago and Amaryllis could hardly believe that even in the final days of her life there was still this lingering piece of hope; her mother gave her that hope.

Effie loosened her hold on the little girl and smiled sweetly at her. There was a hint of fear in her eyes but that fear was not for her. She fears for Haymitch; what would their daughter think of him? Will she be able to readily accept him the same way she accepted her? It's very likely but there was still this hint of doubt that kept nagging her.

"Wait, if you're my mother and I'm from 12. That means that my father is also from 12. And knowing that the only man from District 12 that you have been so long affiliated with is Ha-... My father is HAYMITCH ABERNATHY?" She exclaims in shock.

Effie managed to nod but she couldn't find the right words to say. Her daughter's reaction was something she had not expected.

"Oh, does daddy know?" After recovering from the initial shock she was quick to accept that Haymitch was her father.

"No, do you want us to tell him?"

She only nodded in reply but Effie could tell that she is bursting with excitement. The happiness was written in her eyes; she couldn't hide it.

* * *

Effie walked out of the room and went back to the drawing room. There she saw a passed out Haymitch with a bottle in hand. He was lying face down on the couch and the smell of liquor hung around him. This did not really surprise her but she was still disappointed nonetheless.

She went back to her daughter's room. It was empty when she returned. She panicked at first but then she noticed that the bathroom's lights were opened and she could hear the water running from the other side of the door. She sat down on the edge of the bed and breathed a sigh of relief and thought that she was overreacting. It was probably an effect of being apart for so long or maybe it was just a motherly instinct, she's not really sure.

After calming down for a while her heart raced once again for she heard her daughter scream in pain. She panicked; a lot of things could happened in there. What if she fell and broke her head or what if she got some bathroom cleaner on her face and what if that bathroom cleaner was the type that can corrode the skin?

She tried to calm herself before she rushed towards the door. Her hand was inches away from the knob when the door opened. She looked at her daughter and saw that her right eye was close shut and her face was wet and covered in some white minty sticky substance.

"I got some soap in my eye then I pushed the wrong button and got some toothpaste all over my face." she said.

Effie sighed in relief, for what felt like the hundredth time that day. She got some tissue and wiped the toothpaste off her daughter's face. All the while, thoughts ran through her head; unpleasant ones. She mainly worried that the toothpaste and soap could make her blind. Probably not, but still...

"Let me see your eye."

Amaryllis reluctantly opened her right eye. It still hurts a little but it was mainly shut because of the mint. The coldness of the menthol wasn't really painful- it was just extremely unpleasant. Her eye was a little reddish but it looked like there was no permanent damage.

"It's a little red. Does it hurt?" she asked.

"A little..."

"Let's just rinse it off with some water and I'll send you off to bed."

* * *

After the whole fiasco with the toothpaste the both of them were feeling very tired. Amaryllis stretched and gave out a yawn.

"It's late, You should go to sleep. Tomorrow is a big big big big day." Effie stated with a smile on her face.

Amaryllis scratched her eye and groggily replied. "Yeah, I know... We'll get to tell daddy."

Effie would've tucked her daughter in but she was hesitant to rush things. She would love to kiss her daughter goodnight but she was scared that that would mean rushing things and it will drive her further away. She was already a step away from the door when Amaryllis called her back.

"Mommy, can you please tuck me in?" She asks.

Effie nodded in reply and walked over to her daughter's bed. She covered her up with the soft satin blanket before brushing off a few stray hairs off her forehead.

"Good night sweetie..." Effie said before kissing her daughter's forehead.

"Good night mommy... I love you..." A tear escaped from her eye before she closed them.

Before drifting off to sleep she heard the gentle humming of her mother. She now knows the lyrics to the familiar tune. It spoke of love and safety. There are no Hunger Games...

Effie watched her daughter drift off to sleep as she hummed their song. She knows the lyrics but sadly the song spoke of a promise that she can never fulfill. She can't protect her little girl from the games but at least she has this moment, at least she can feel her daughter's warm embrace... even if it's just for a little while...

_Life is short and time is fleeting so savor this moment for all of eternity..._

* * *

**Is this chapter a little too cheesy? Nah, I like it that way. Sorry for the late update guys, I had to do a lot of revisions and screenings with this one and the lyrics were really hard to make. Mainly because there's an actual tune. **

**Anyways, please tell me what you think :D**


	9. His Daughter

**Is this really the only way to reply to an anon -_-? Oh well, maybe other readers questioned it too... So why didn't she question her parents' lack of presence in her life or wondered why they supposedly abandon her. The answer (or should I say answers) is(are?) simple really. In chapter 1 she mentions that she believes that her parents loved her so she tries to be optimistic about her situation. (nothing wrong with that now) and in majority of the story she already knows that she was taken.**

** Remember chapter 4? Remember Granny and her line "Know that you're parents loved you very much and never think that they did not. You had to be taken away from them. It wasn't their choice. They tried to look for you but they couldn't find you."? See, I had, like 4 chapters prior to her knowing and at that time all she could think of was about the games because she was nervous; she was too busy blocking out the games to question these things and she already has this belief from the start that her parent's never meant her harm (" I don't know who they are or if they're alive or not but I'm sure that they loved me") And who's to say she didn't question it before? The story didn't start with her birth. I mean, don't you guys like a little anonymity in a story?**

**Erm, you know maybe I can use that in the plot later on... Yisssss! XD Thanks anon! More on that in later chapters!**

**Regardless to your answer to the question above, I will leave the 12 years of her life in the orphanage to the imagination of the readers :D**

**By popular demand I updated this chapter a day earlier than what I intended...**

* * *

Light shown through Haymitch's eyelids. He'd prefer to go back to sleep but the light was blinding and his head was aching from last night's drinking session. He hesitantly shook the sleep from his eyes and groggily got out of bed. He was still out of focus but not enough to not notice the girl tribute enter his room with a tray of food.

"What's that sweetheart?" he asked.

"It's your breakfast. You passed out from drinking yesterday. We had to carry you to your room." she answered.

Haymitch was wary of the girl's kindness. People aren't usually kind to him. They were before but he has changed. The games made him that way. The only person he has ever opened up to was Effie and even then, he kept some things from her. It was mainly about their daughter, he can never tell her hoe much it hurts. He was her strength and her sanctuary; he can't show weakness. He can't let her down.

"Why are you helping me?" he asked with the hint of urgency and suspicion in his tone. She must be trying to get on his good side; thinking that it will help you win the games.

"I want to and shouldn't we be looking out for each other?" She said. She looked at the floor with downcast eyes; regretful that she might have done something wrong.

"Ah, so you're schmoozing. Eh, sweetheart?"

"Erm, schmoozing?" Amaryllis cocked her head to the side in confusion.

"Yeah, you know talking me into doing something that you want. Listen, there is no need for all this. I've already decided to help you. Okay, Maryl?"

Amaryllis smiled a little but it was quite obvious that she was still confused. She never intended to 'schmooze'. She just wanted to get closer to her father and she hated herself for making it seem otherwise.

"What? What else do you want? I'm not giving you anymore liquor, so you can forget about it!" He was harsh in his tone and this only made Amaryllis more miserable. What could have she done to make her father so angry?

They both didn't notice Effie when she entered the room. She smiled sweetly before speaking up. "So are you two getting along?"

The both of them jumped in surprise. Haymitch was confused and a little angry. Did Effie make the girl do this and why did she? He warned her not to get close to their tributes; it will hurt her thrice as much when the tribute dies in the arena. Amaryllis on the other hand was nervous on Effie's reaction; she's afraid that her father's reception of her might affect her mother's thoughts of her.

"Ah, so you made her do this then!" Exclaimed Haymitch.

"Why yes, I thought you'd be happy." She replied.

"Why would I- Didn't I tell you not to get close to the tributes?"

"She's not just a tribute Haymitch! She's our daughter!"

"Effie, stop fooling yourself. The chance of ever seeing her again is one in a million. She might even be dead."

Amaryllis just stood there, listening and watching her parents fight. Can they even agree on anything? They seem so incompatible. How can two opposites get along, fall in love and bring forth a new life in the world? It doesn't really make sense but their love seem so right.

"She's not dead! She's standing right in front of us!"

Haymitch sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Alright princess, why don't we see for ourselves?"

He walked towards the young girl, crouched down and looked at her straight in the eyes.

"She has your eyes, Haymitch..." Effie said. Her tone was softer now. There wasn't a hint of anger in her voice and it almost sounded as if she was begging. She wanted to make him believe and she knows that he shouldn't deny the truth.

"Yeah, that's not enough though..." His voice grew distant. He sounded unfocused and distracted. He tried to concentrate on controlling his thoughts and emotions but he can't help but to be distracted by the small speckle of hope. Could the girl be his daughter?

He asked her to pull down her right sleeve. She pulled down the fabric and exposed a small flower-shaped birthmark on her shoulder.

Haymitch looked at it with his mouth agape. He distinctly remembered the mark on his daughter's shoulder. It's a little faded now, but nevertheless it's still in the same shape and size.

* * *

_He walked into the room and saw the midwife hand Effie their daughter. He could tell it was a very painful labor; sweat trickled down her face and the agony was still evident in her eyes yet she looked so happy. There were tears in her eyes but Haymitch knew that they were tears of joy._

_He took a step closer to them and Effie smiled when she noticed his presence. "She has your eyes, Haymitch..."_

_She hands the infant to him. He watched the little girl struggle in his arms but she eventually calmed down. She looked up at her father and gave him a smile. Haymitch couldn't keep himself from crying. This was the life that he helped create. She was his daughter; his little girl and nothing could ever change that._

_"You reek of alcohol." stated Effie._

_"It was just a couple of glasses. I was nervous for you, princess..." he smirked._

_"Whatever..."_

_"She's beautiful, Effie. I-I can't-" he choked._

_"And you wanted me to abort her..." she replied sarcastically._

_"I'm glad you didn't..." _

He choked a sob and tried to keep himself from crying. 12 years of keeping his emotions locked up has finally taken it's toll. His daughter; the little girl who smiled at him twelve years ago was the very girl who stood there right in front of him.

"You really are... I-I-" Haymitch couldn't find the right words to say. He hugged her daughter tight and allowed the tears to stream down his cheeks.

"I love you too, daddy..." she said.

They loosened their hug and Haymitch turned towards Effie. "You're right, she is our daughter..."

Effie nodded in reply. She walked closer to the two and they all hugged each other. Their eyes were wet with tears; it felt so good to feel their little girl in their arms once again. They're a family is whole once again.

* * *

Maximilian peered through the crack of Haymitch's door. Through the paper thin walls he heard everything. He was happy for his fellow tribute but he couldn't help but feel jealous.

The three of them didn't sense his presence but he was still there watching nonetheless. He closed the door shut and walked back to his room. He couldn't fight off the tears so he let them fall down from his eyes.

He collapsed in his bed and continued to sob. The pain was too much for him to bear. He wished for the games so he can finally meet up with his inevitable end.

_In certain times, death can be your closest friend..._

* * *

__**A little short? Well, I am quite satisfied with it. **

**Anyways, the next chapter won't come anytime soon. (I almost didn't update this week) I'm really sorry but I'm very busy. I have to help with the bulletin board in our club, to train for my cooking contest, to study for my tests, to advance read the lessons, to finish the assignments, to design our homeroom, to clear my stuff, to comply with my parent's need for family leisure time (I'll stop there) Well, those things are awesome and I love doing all of them but yeah, the catch is there's no more time for fics...**

**I'll try to update next week though... Please review XD (I read them all. Seriously, I do)**


	10. Deal?

**10th chapter. Phew, lucky to update this.**

**I have a tightly-knit schedule that I have to follow, else everything will fall out of place. Time is gold- every minute, no every second is important. I am proud to say that I have never been tardy in any class or in school. I was late in one session of my UPCAT review though because the traffic was heavy and I wasn't able to anticipate that. I was still really disappointed; I missed 5 vital minutes from the test and it was geometry. **

**Anyways, one should always be punctual and in time. It's better to be early that to be late. Also, don't dilly-dally with tasks at hand for cramming will stress you out and ruin your perfectly-planned schedule (unless it is in your schedule to cram)**

***Ignore the ramblings about schedules and punctuality.***

**Anyways, I received a suggestion from an anon regarding Max's story. Well, I'll honestly have to think things through before including it but it did give me a great idea that I will so thanks anon :D (Yes, you are free to make suggestions regarding the plot and I'll give you credit for it. I will have to evaluate them though)**

* * *

He was silent all though breakfast. The other three were happily conversing together; joyed by their tearful reunion. They didn't speak to him regarding the earlier encounter but he knows it well. He could still recall their joyous statements and their expressions of love and happiness when they felt each other's embrace.

Their laughter resonated through his ears; giving him mixed emotions of grief, jealousy and happiness. He can recall the times when he laughed with his family; he missed them so dearly.

His mother died when he was still a child. It was told that she died of childbirth when his little sister was born but he always thought that there was more to that story than what was told. His father died in a mining accident years ago; it was the same one that took Mr. Everdeen's life. After the death of both of their parents he had to work hard so that his sister could live but she was reaped at the unfortunate age of 12.

After that he was left alone in the world. He never enjoyed life after that; he doesn't have any friends. He's the type of guy that stays in the sidelines and disappears into the background. He waited for this moment. The games aren't his nightmare; it's his dream come true.

"Okay you two, today's your first day of training. No showing off just yet, save that for when they rate you." Haymitch's loud voice broke him away from his trance.

"What if we don't know our skills?" Amaryllis asked.

"That's a good question sweetheart, try do discover it first then move on to the next station before another tribute notices." he replied.

"So you decided to become our mentor then. What happened to accepting our death, huh drunkard?" Maximillian said.

"Ah wise guy aren't ya? Well, you better fix that attitude if you know what's good for you. You want to live, you need to get sponsors and in order to get sponsors you have to make people LIKE you!"

"What if I don't want to win? What then?"

"It's your choice. A better chance for Maryl then." Haymitch smirked.

"Whatever, I'm done eating. Maryl, I'll see you at training." He stormed off to his room and closed the door shut.

Haymitch shrugged it all off while Amaryllis just stared at his door; wondering what would've made him act that way. Effie felt like she has to say something but she decided against it and held her tongue.

Amaryllis managed to turn away from the door. She couldn't help but wonder what's on her fellow tribute's mind but she knows that she might be able to help him. It wouldn't hurt to try.

"Hey dad."

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

"Do you want me to go and talk to him?"

"Maybe you should. If he'll listen that is." He replied. Effie nodded in agreement.

* * *

After the their tributes left, Effie and Haymitch snuggled into the couch. Their dreams have finally comturn e true, they have their daughter back but they couldn't help but think that their child will be taken away from them once again, only this time she can never be brought back to them.

"The games, Haymitch we can't protect her from the games..." stated Effie.

Tears started to well up in her eyes. She doesn't really know if she can still stand the pain of having her little girl taken away from her nor does she know if she has a firm enough heart to watch her daughter die on screen.

"I know princess. I doubt that I can get her out of that arena though." he replied.

He told her the truth, that way it won't hurt as much for the both of them. Ever since he has known the truth about his daughter, he has been preparing himself for the inevitable but he is still unsure if he will be able to handle it all when the time comes.

"But you have to try..." she begged.

"Don't worry, I will..."

* * *

They walked towards the training center together. Amaryllis look at her fellow tribute with concern in her eyes but he didn't look back at her. In fact, he didn't acknowledge her presence until she spoke up.

"Are you okay Max? Is something bothering you?"

Noticing that she is finally catching on to his strange behavior, he quickly looked back at her with a gentle smile on his face.

"Don't worry. I'm fine, just a little stressed." he lied.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

She didn't quite believe him completely but she decided to leave him alone on that matter for a little while. If he wants to talk, he'll tell her.

They continued to walk in silence. All the while, Maximillian can't help but notice how similar Amaryllis is to his deceased sister. They're both small in stature, have fair skin and both of them has the smile that can make the whole world smile with them. He suddenly has this need to protect her and he knows well that she has to win the games. It will do everyone good if that happens.

They were able to get to the training center without any problems. They were briefed on how the games worked; what could kill them, what their priorities were and other basic stuff. They were also informed of the rules of the training center; no fighting, no one can take any sort of equipment from the center, respect authorities and no one is to destroy or damage any of the training equipment.

After the orientation the tributes quickly scrambled from one station to another. Amaryllis and Maximillian have both decided to train together. They both went to the knife-throwing station first where Maximillian has discovered his lack of hand-eye coordination. Amaryllis on the other hand was doing average for a first timer but kept her new-found skill to herself and moved on to the next station.

The next one that they tried was archery and that's where they both discovered their lack of skill for such a field and that prompted them to go to a non-combative station- camouflage.

They were able to learn the basics of the craft but neither of them would actually qualify as experts. Maximillan decided to move on to the ax and sword station but Amaryllis decided to remain; thinking that deception might actually be the only way for her to survive the games. They both agreed to eat lunch together and continue to train together.

She meticulously tried to paint her forearm with different shades of gray and brown so as to copy the visual texture of rocks.

"That's really nice. It sort of looks like a piece of sandstone." an unfamiliar voice broke her away from her concentration. She looked up and saw a girl, who was approximately sixteen years old with straight brown hair and green eyes. She was the girl from 9.

"Hi, you're that girl from 9 aren't you?" Amaryllis asked.

"Yes, and I am positive that you're the tribute from 12; the one with the burning garments."

"Well, I'm just lucky it didn't burn all the way though." She joked.

They both laughed and then they introduced themselves. Amaryllis learned that the girl was named Bailey Meller. She was a scientific researcher in her district. She assists her superiors in developing new transgenic grains and she would sometimes help in the field.

"Don't you go to school?" Amaryllis asked.

"I did. I've graduated already. At age 14, I think."

"Really? That young?"

"It's really no big deal. 9's standards are pretty low. I honestly prefer the Capitol's education, I've read books about it but I guess you already know why I can't really study here." she replies.

"Well, I guess it's expected for the Capitol to have a higher quality education compared to the districts. You want to train together?"

"Sure"

They both moved to the plant station. Amaryllis learned a few more herbal plants that could help her out. It was a lot more than the Everdeens could've taught her but nevertheless her lessons with Prim and Mrs. Everdeen will serve her well in the arena.

They both remained in that station until it was time for their lunch. Bailey invited Amaryllis to eat lunch with her fellow tribute from 9, who was a lanky 18 year-old boy with messy red hair. Amaryllis signaled Maximillian to eat with them and they all made small talk.

"Well Maryl, I see that you have made friends." Maximillian stated matter-of-factly.

"I figured that maybe we can all team up once we're in the arena." Amaryllis replied.

"That sounds like a good idea." said the boy from 9.

"Well, I'll ask our mentor about it. You, you're um Bailey right?"

"Yeah." she replied.

"Oh, Maryl told me that you're really nice. That's cool I guess..." he smiled at her.

"I threw a wish in a well, don't ask me I'll never tell. I looked to you as it fell but now you're in my way!"

Maximillian's eyes widened into the size of dinner plates and quickly turned his focus towards 9's female tribute. "Erm, what was that again?"

Bailey quickly turned red once she noticed her 'mistake'. "N-nothing! It was nothing!"

Amaryllis and 9's other tribute looked at them with amusement. They both snickered at them.

"Wha-what so funny?" they both asked.

"Oh nothing..." they replied sarcastically.

After lunch they all split up and trained separately, except for Maximillian and Amaryllis who went to the fire-making station together. After producing a couple of bonfires they both returned to the knife-throwing station so Amaryllis could practice.

She kept throwing knives at the target while Maximillian told her about his new-found talent in swing axes and swords. They stayed in that station until they were dismissed.

* * *

Maximillian went ahead while Amaryllis stayed for a little while. She walked slowly so as to observe her surroundings more carefully. She examined the smooth marble floor and the ornate gold-plated railings of the building. She looked up to look at meticulously crafted chandeliers that were constructed out of expensive diamonds and glass and looked down to the smooth varnished mahogany tables. She ran her fingers across the smooth delicate surface of the finely-grained wood. "Mhhhmmm this is mahogany..." she sighed.

She suddenly felt something bump her hard on the head. She fell against the hard marble flooring but she was quickly helped up by someone.

"I am terribly sorry m'lady. I was in a hurry and I didn't notice you there. I hope I caused you no harm." said an unfamiliar voice.

Amaryllis looked up and noticed a boy with blue eyes who was approximately 3 to 4 years older than her. If his voice didn't give it away that he's from the Capitol his clothing and hair most certainly does. He wore a black suit with a sky blue tie and his hair was dyed a dark shade of blue- so dark that it can be mistaken for black at first glance.

"I-it's fine!" she stuttered in reply. She was leaning against him; still trying to gain balance from her fall. She's never been so close to a guy before.

The boy from the Capitol looked far off into the distance and panic suddenly appeared into his eyes which prompted him to hide in the nearest closet, dragging 12's female tribute along with him.

"Wha-what the-" she was quickly shushed by him and in a low soft voice he whispered "I'm sorry m'lady but we must remain silent for a while, else I'll be caught."

She didn't question him any further; whatever his running from must be quite terrible for him to dart off so quickly. What could scare him? she wondered.

The closet was dark and small, the two of them could barely fit in such a tiny space. She was pressed against his body and she could feel his chest rise up and down in accordance to his breathing. The sweat trickled down their faces and the small droplets merged before they could fall against the cold ground. Neither one of them spoke, they just remained still for half an hour.

* * *

Haymitch and Effie remained in the couch for a long time;thinking of a way for their daughter to win the games. Neither one of them liked what's coming, the pain of sending her off into the arena was too much for them. They didn't know what to do.

"We can't let her die." stated Effie.

"I know sweetheart but I cannot promise you anything. I'm really sorry..." Haymitch replied.

"Will you at least try?"

"Yes, I've told you before and I'll tell you again. I'll do everything I can to keep our little girl alive." he assured her.

"Okay, I trust you Haymitch..." She really did trust him; more than he could ever trust himself. He's quite doubtful of his abilities but he knows that he should at least try. Maybe it will help or maybe it won't and he may let everyone down or he may not. One thing's for certain though, he'll have to play her games like it was his.

The automatic doors slid open; taking Haymitch away from his concentration. They were both shocked to see that Maximillian came back alone.

"Where's Maryl?" Haymitch asked.

"I went ahead. She said something about exploring the place a little and she also said not to worry, she won't be gone long." he replied.

"I most certainly hope not." stated Effie.

He looked towards the door to make sure that his fellow tribute is not going to walk in. He immediately spoke up when he's confident enough that she won't be walking through those doors soon "There's another reason why I went ahead."

"What is it then?"

"An offer you won't refuse. Something that will be able to save your daughter perhaps?" What he has to offer was something that's unusual for a tribute.

"Y-you know?" Effie gasped.

"Yes, I'm not deaf nor am I blind. I saw your little reunion earlier. Quite touching really."

"Are you being a smart mouth again?"

"I'm not. Listen, this won't guarantee her absolute safety but it might help. I'll try to protect her in the arena. I don't care if I die- death is my friend. All you have to do is train me to protect her. No catches. Do we have a deal?"

Haymitch closed his eyes for a little while; contemplating on whether he should say yes or no. Who's to say he might betray them once they are in the arena but then again it might help. Maybe she can survive with a bodyguard that's capable enough to win the games.

"Why? Why are you offering this? Don't you want to win?"

"Maybe I do if I actually have a reason to win- if I can actually share my winnings with others but what reason do I have? My whole family is DEAD! She has a reason to live. She has you two. Me, I have nothing." he stated.

Haymitch sighed before replying "Sure"

"So we have a deal then?"

"Yup."

They all conversed on a good strategy and they all agreed that a non-aggressive approach is the best one. A little while later Amaryllis came back from her little trip. She looked tired and was dripping in sweat.

"What took you so long sweetheart?" Haymitch asked her.

"N-nothing at all. Just explored a little." She didn't tell them about the blue haired boy and how they hid inside a closet together. Her parents would freak if they find out.

"I hope you didn't get into any trouble, young lady." said Effie.

"Don't worry Ms. Trinket. I didn't."

"You don't have to hide it. I know that their you're parents." Maximillian stated.

"Well, that's a good thing I guess..."

"Anyways, we need to get back to formulating a plan. Maryl, you will team up with Max, stay close and back each other up okay?"

"Okay" they replied.

_Two heads are better than one..._

* * *

__**It's 3 in the morning and I'm wide awake! Anyways, please review when you have time. Thanks :D**


	11. Bedtime Stories

**Sorry I wasn't able to update last week. Anyways, this week is our periodic exams but I still made this chapter because I need an outlet for all the stress. Please enjoy**

**Note: italic= flashback and italic+bold=written notes**

* * *

It was after dinner and Amaryllis and Maximillian were on the couch; watching some of the previous games. They've already watched three: the 25th, 38th and the 67th. They observed every single detail- from the bloody and mutilated bodies to the movement and demented expressions of the careers. Neither of them winced but both of them were filled with fear for both of them doubt that Amaryllis could survive in the arena.

The tape stopped with the announcement of the year's victor and the whole screen filled with static. Maximillian glanced at Amaryllis; asking her to place the next tape into the slot. She unwillingly got up, grabbed a tape from the stack and placed it into the slot.

The screen flashed to life and Maximillian's eyes filled up with horror as he realized that it was the 70th Hunger Games. The arena looked like a woodland except for a huge dam. Most of the tributes frantically ran towards the cornucopia but the girl from 12 quickly turned her heels and rushed away from the bloodbath. She wasn't fast enough though for a career's arrow shot though her chest. The camera zoomed into her lifeless body but only for a second and the camera's attention quickly returned to the massacre.

Amaryllis felt her fellow tribute shift. She grabbed the remote and turned the television off. Maximillian didn't seem to notice; he wasn't looking at the screen anymore. He looked out into the distance but he stared at nothing in particular.

"Max are you alright?" She asked with concern in her voice.

He gave her a fake smile and replied. "Oh, you turned the TV off... Why?"

"Does it matter? We both don't like watching these and your not even paying attention anymore." she stated.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Let's continue, just please not that one." his voice sounded like he was begging. Amaryllis noticed this and gave him a questioning look "Why?"

Before he spoke up he sighed and seated himself in a more comfortable position. "Well, since I'm going to die I might as well tell you..."

"I'm an orphan you see. Dad said that my mother died at childbirth. He died in a mining accident years later and the girl you saw on screen was my sister..."**  
**

She could have never known this fact about him if he had never told her. He would sometimes rage his hatred towards the games but she always thought that that was just a normal reaction for a newly-reaped tribute. She was wrong though; his hatred was fueled by his sister's death.

She knows what it's like to have a loved one taken to the games for one of her friends at the orphanage was reaped before but she can't really feel the actual pain of it being a family member. She tried to understand and comfort him though for that's the only way she could ever help him.

"Do my parents know?" she asked.

"They know she's dead. I don't know if they are aware of the details... They probably do; they've met her." he replies.

"Should we tell them?"

"No!"

She respected his wishes and didn't further question him on the matter. She, in fact, didn't question him on any topics about his personal life because some things are better left unknown and unsaid.

* * *

She hopped on top of her bed and looked at her parents expectantly. They walked towards her bed tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead.

"Sleep tight sweetheart..." Haymitch said sweetly as he looks down to his daughter.

"You too daddy..." she replied.

"Need anything else sweetie? A trip to the bathroom or a glass of milk perhaps?" Effie asked.

Amaryllis pondered for a moment before turning her attention back to her parents. "Tell me a bedtime story." she requested.

"Erm, I'm not really good at this and there are no story books here. I'm really sorry sweetheart..." Haymitch replied.

"I brought some books... It's in my pack." she replied.

Haymitch and Effie grabbed her bag and reached in to get the books. They pulled out a few classics: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's stone, The Fault in our Stars, Sense and Sensibilities and Silas Marner.

"This is an interesting collection. I've read some of these when I was a young girl." Effie said.

"Did you like them mommy?"

"Well, they were all good reads but their not really bedtime story material." She replied.

"I know a few short stories that might peak your interest." said Haymitch.

"Please tell them." She smiled sweetly at her parents. She has no idea that her father intended to tell not a fictional story but ones that actually happened.

He told her of his childhood and his life before he was reaped. Most of these stories were also unfamiliar to Effie so both mother and daughter listened intensely to the stories. A particular story shocked her a little though

"Let me tell you about the time there was a rat in the house and we were all starving. We desperately wanted to catch that little vermin." he began.

"Wait, what does your hunger have to do with a rodent?" Effie asked.

Haymitch gave her an amused look. She raised her eyebrow in confusion. As a girl that was raised in one of the poorest districts, Amaryllis could already put two and two together. When you're starving to death, you will desperately try to get a meal. Even if that meal is labelled as a pest.

"Mom, dad and I are from District 12." Amaryllis stated.

"I know that dear but I-" She cut herself off mid sentence when realization finally hit her. She gave him a disgusted look before exclaiming "Haymitch, that's utterly horrific! Why would anyone want to consume such a foul creature?"

"Well, he did make up for a decent meal." he smirked.

"Can we- just- next story please!" She stammered in disgust.

"Well, I don't have anymore that will not make you respond like that. Really Effie, if you were starving to death- you'd eat anything that's edible." Haymitch stated.

"Maybe you can tell us some stories, mommy." Amaryllis requested.

"I do have a few that I would like to share with both of you." she said in reply.

Her stories were about her luxurious childhood which was in contrast to Haymitch's poverty-stricken one. Amaryllis listened with great interest. She imagined life in the Capitol- it seemed so much better than a life in one of the districts. Haymitch on the other hand, found none of her stories amusing; a Capitol citizen's hedonistic lifestyle.

After a few more stories, Amaryllis' eyes began to droop and she started to yawn. Her parent's tucked her in, sang to her the lullaby, kissed her on the forehead and said goodnight.

Effie closed the door shut and heaved a big sigh and gave Haymitch a sad and distant look.

"What's the matter princess? Is there something wrong?" Haymitch asked.

"You don't really think I'm that shallow and hedonistic do you, Haymitch?" she asked.

Haymitch scratched head and gave Effie a concerned look. Of course he knows; he's aware that her childhood isn't as luxurious as it first appears to be but sometimes it annoys him that the Capitol can indulged themselves with such pleasantries when the people of the districts can't. He made it too obvious and that hurt her.

"I know... I'm sorry..." he said with sincerity.

"It's okay... " she said in reply.

"Why didn't you tell her the truth?" he asked.

"I did, I just left out the bad parts."

"Why did you?"

Effie sat on the couch and signaled Haymitch to sit next to her. She flung herself into his arms and cried on his shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just too much we can't send her into the arena. We just can't. I don't want to upset her... I tried hide the pain... I don't want her to know that my parents pressured me."

Haymitch held her in his arms and asked. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want her to feel pressured..."

"But princess, we don't pressure her..."

"We do- we expect her to win the games."

It's true that they both want her to win and it's true that she still wants to live but her thoughts can change once she enters the arena. Will Max's protection change the amount of trauma? He's not really sure.

Haymitch recalls his own games: bloody, violent and traumatizing. His past is a nightmare that would haunt him for the rest of his life. Before meeting Effie he only has two ways to escape the nightmares: alcohol and death. He chose the former and slowly but surely he's starting to move on with his life. Though the scars will never heal, he knows that he can get through. But what about Amaryllis? What kind of scars will she have? How dreadful will be the nightmares that will haunt her if she wins? What kind of escape will she have? Will she choose death?

She's just a 12 year old girl; so fragile, innocent and clueless of the world. How tragic it would be for her to loose such an innocence and how unjust it would be to shove a young clueless and defenseless girl into the real world. It is unlikely that she will live but if she does her life could be worse than death itself. Is Haymitch willing to let his daughter experience the hellish terrors of the arena for the rest of her life? It was the kind of trauma that can drive one to total insanity; living a life filled with hate and despair. Can a 12 year old handle that?

"She'll try to win if she wants to win..." he said in reply. What more could he say anyways? Amaryllis will have to make the final decision; if she will try or not.

He got up from the couch and walked to the kitchen. He reached for the nearest bottle of liquor and he promptly dumped half of it's contents down his throat. He didn't notice that Effie was standing beside him but he did notice it when she took the bottle from his hands.

"Alcohol, really Haymitch? That's how you will help out tributes?" she asked.

"Give it back!" he whined like a little kid.

"No, you need to be sober to mentor them properly." she said in reply.

"Effie, I need it. I'm hurt too you know. I worry about our daughter..." he said.

"Haymitch... liquor is never the answer..." She said as she gently places the bottle back to the counter where Haymitch has found it.

She gently places her hand on his cheek and she slowly draws him closer to her. They lips brush against each others and they drew in closer; deepening their kiss.

He wraps his arms around her and she presses closer to him in return. They eventually loosened their kiss but they still held each other in a tight embrace. They looked at each other's lust-filled eyes then he carried her bridal style and walked towards her room.

* * *

_It happened approximately 13 years ago. Both of them has gotten particularly close to their tributes. They both thought that one of them could win for they both made it to the top 10 but alas, a spear took away the boy's life and a mutt caused the girl to perish. It was only her 4rd year as an escort and she wasn't so used to the pain then so she wept while the lifeless body of their tributes were shown. Haymitch on the other hand, walked towards the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of absinthe for it was the strongest drink he could find. __He walked back towards the sitting room and took his place next to Effie's. _

_"The pain will pass, princess..." he said before he dumped the contents of the bottle into his mouth._

_She looked at him with disgust. How could he say that? How can he so easily shrug of their deaths? She thought to herself. "It's not that easy, Haymitch!"_

_"Oh, I see that you have finally realized how awful the games are eh?" he said sarcastically._

_"Do you really think I'm that heartless? Every year since I've become an escort, every single damn year I cry because I see our tributes get slaughtered on screen."_

_"Then tell me... Why do you support this?" His voice became grave and urgent._

_She could tell that he was serious and that he wants an honest answer, so she told him the truth "We were taught the the games was merely a spectacle- a yearly event that everyone, including the districts look forward to. I used to believe that but not anymore. I can still recall my first reaping- I can remember the fear that was written in the eyes of every single child. I tried to act happy; I always have but I know the truth and I am well-aware of the situation of the districts."_

_"You still haven't answered my question." he stated with urgency._

_"I know... You see Haymitch we're slaves and prisoners too but the only difference is that those who imprison us are the people that are close to us. They're not our enemies but our allies and if we show just a hint of defiance we will be severely punished. I can't stand up to them. I'm not as strong as I appear to be." She finished._

_It is then that Haymitch sort of felt sympathy towards the district escort. She has a good point; physically they're well-off compared to the districts but in other aspects they suffer just as much- if not more. It's true that Effie is still annoying and it's true that the Capitol lifestyle disgusts him but now he knows her side of the story and for that he can accept her better._

_He mouthed an apology to her. After that she scooted closer to him and cried on his shoulder; she told him about her childhood- how she was pressured by her parents to be perfect in everything. It was hard on her so he let her cry on his shoulder._

_They both felt a sudden closeness to each other and this prompted him to open up to Effie as well. He told her of his past and his games. They talked and drank alcohol; there were no boundaries between the two of them for they now know of each other's thoughts, nightmares and dreams._

_There and then, they held each other tight and looked into each other's eyes. Their lips inched closer until they touched. They broke away and looked at each other once again. Both of them were overwhelmed with desire and unbridled passion._

_They woke up the next day still seeking each other's touch. Their bodies were pressed against each other beneath the thin bed covers. The initial shock didn't come as quickly as it should._

The sunlight seeped through the window of Effie's bedroom; waking the sleeping couple up. Unlike 13 years ago neither one of them was shocked or upset. They smiled at each other and exchanged good mornings.

"I still can't believe we haven't done that for 13 years. I didn't know I can resist you for so long." Haymitch smirked.

"Yes, I feel the same about you... I love you so much." Effie said in reply

"I love you too."

"We better get up before the kids do. We don't want them finding out about last night." said Effie as she got out of bed.

"Awww, let's stay awhile princess..." Haymitch begged disappointingly.

"Oh, you know I love to but-" she cut herself off when she noticed a small piece of paper slipped under her door. She took it into her hands, smoothed it out and read the note together with Haymitch.

**_Dear Mom and Dad,_**

**_I was awoken by a strange noise in the adjacent room, which turned out to be mom's. Anyways, I'm really glad that you two are really trying hard to make a sibling for me but that won't be necessary. I'm quite content of our little family and Max is somewhat of a big brother to me so..._**

**_ps: Max said that both of you are gross but I still love you though._**

**_Your daughter,_**

**_Maryl_**

* * *

**Well, I guess Effie and Haymitch can stay in bed a little longer *wink* *wink*. Yes, that's the most smut I will do. Anyways, can someone suggest a good name to be Amaryllis' original name. You know, the one she had before being taken away. You'll get credit of course and I'll use it in some of the flashbacks.**

**Classes were suspended so YAY! :D Anyways, I hope you guys liked this one. Your reviews and comments are much appreciated **


	12. Problems

**Okay, so one of the readers nzlouise said something about this fic being a little too unrealistic and I have to agree and that will change from now on. I do have this problem though- what about the previous chapters? How can I make them seem realistic as well?**

**I thought about it and I eventually came to the conclusion that psychology holds the solution to my predicament. Well, I have already "****psychologized" my friends, family, complete strangers, fictional characters and myself so why not do it to the spawn of hayffie (wtf! spawn of hayffie? What a title!)**

**Another issue is on Amaryllis' real name. I would've given her a name similar to a person she was based on but the problem is she wasn't based on anyone I know -_-. (Actually, this is my first fic wherein no OC's were based on people I know so I guess that means I'm improving right? right?**

**The problem isn't really that no name is good enough, it's actually the exact opposite. I've narrowed it down to a few of your suggestions but they're still many _ Anyways, I'm still open to suggestions. Maybe next chapter we'll know her original name.**

**Anyways, please enjoy this chapie :D**

* * *

They all ate together in silence. No one dared to speak up for the simplest of words can stir up the memories of last night. Amaryllis kept her head down; trying to avoid any eye contact. She wanted to run from the table and head outside but she found herself stuck to her spot instead.

Maximillian gave his fellow tribute a concerned look. He knew her thoughts quite well. In the note she made it seem that she's okay but that's not really the case. She expected them to be the perfect parents; her standards were impossibly high and last night's encounter has certainly changed her view on her parents. They seemed so flawed and imperfect and a part of her couldn't accept that. He knew he has to speak up, he must break the growing tension else Amaryllis might do something she'll undoubtedly regret.

"We're thinking of forming an alliance with some of the other tributes." he stated.

"Well, that's all and well but you two better choose someone who's trust-worthy and don't forget to break off the alliance when there's only 10 left." Haymitch said in reply.

"10?" he asked.

"Yeah, better safe than sorry."

Maximillian turned his attention towards Amaryllis once again; she seemed to have relaxed ever so slightly. They continued their meal without any spoken dialogue. Amaryllis was the first one to finish her meal then she immediately excused herself from the table.

"I'm going to prepare for training. I don't want to be late." she said.

"It's good to see that your taking your training seriously..." Effie stated.

"Uh yeah, why wouldn't I? Gotta go bye!" she said before rushing off into her room.

Effie and Haymitch thinking that last night might be the cause of their daughter's strange behavior look at Maxilillian questioningly. He of course, noticed and he decided to answer them in the most least-awkward way possible.

"Erm, she's just curious about the tree tapping station; didn't get a chance to try that out last time." he said in reply.

"Tree tapping?" Effie asked for that's not normally a thing that can strike one's interest.

"Yeah, you need to know the good spot on where to strike the spile. _Penetration_ is also an important factor. It has to be in _really deep_ to get the maximum amount of that_ sweet sweet sap_. Maybe you two can give her some pointers in that." he smirked right before he stood up and walked away.

They followed him with their gaze; their mouths still open in shock. It was then that their suspicions have been confirmed. Both of them were regretful about last night. Will their daughter ever return to them again?

* * *

"Please open the door, Maryl. I know that you lied; training is hours from now." Maximillian exclaimed as he kept banging on her door.

"Can't you just leave me alone!?" she exclaimed in reply. She doesn't want to be bothered. Maybe a few minutes alone with her thoughts can help her sort things out or maybe it won't. It is evident that she needed help but she just can't admit that to herself.

"It's just me-Max, so please let me in."

She paused for a few minutes before speaking up. Should she open up to him? Maybe she should, who else can she turn to anyways? It is also a possibility that he can help her out. He is older therefore he must know more about these kind of issues. "Alright then..." she said in defeat.

She let him enter the room and he sat on the edge of her bed. She kept her head down while playing with the hem of her shirt; distracting herself from the extremely uncomfortable conversation that is to come. She tried to avoid any sort of eye-contact with him; trying to shut him off from herself entirely.

"Maryl?"

"Hmm?"

"I know you're still disturbed about last night." he stated.

"W-what!? W-what happened last night? I cannot recall." she stammered in reply.

She remembered the events perfectly but a part of her still firmly held on to the belief that acting like it never happened will make things less awkward. Even when she was just a child she has this tendency to escape from her problems; her lullaby has always been her means of escape but now it serves as a reminder of the very thing that she's trying to runaway from so now she only has one choice and that is to try to forget.

"Denying that it never happened won't help your cause."

"I-I'm not denying anything!" She said in defense.

"Okay then, I guess I'll just have to remind you about last night. Effie and Haymitch-" he was cut off.

"DON'T YOU DARE, MAXIMILLIAN RADLEY!" she warned him. She furrowed her eyebrows and glared at him. She has never looked at him in such a way before. Despite this he remained unfazed and he even found her expression slightly amusing.

"OOH I sense some hostility." he smirked.

"Fine! You got my attention so what do you want from me?"

"You got it all wrong, I'm here to help you and not the other way around. You still haven't recovered from last night. You seem slightly disturbed still." he stated. It was obvious that he was concerned.

"Well, 'slightly disturbed' is an understatement." She was harsh in her tone. It is quite obvious that she'd rather not talk about last night's affairs.

"You know what your problem is?"

"What?" she asked.

"You have this kitten-like trust in humanity." He said in reply.

"Excuse me, but what does that have to do with last night?" She was mildly offended by his comment. Kitten-like trust? That's not her at all- or so she thought.

"You don't understand. You quickly agree with them. You get attached to them so easily and you view them as your ideal parents but their only human and they have faults too. They make mistakes then you become gravely disappointed because your standards were not met. You can't accept the fact that their flawed."

"Oh, is that so? Then what do you suggest I do?"

"Well, you should think about it. Disregard the fact that children are suppose to love their parents, ask yourself: Do you really love them?" It was then that he stood up and walked out of the door; leaving Amaryllis to ponder with her own thoughts.

* * *

It's true that she went to training earlier than usual; she'll do almost anything to avoid her parents for a little while. Maximillian on the other hand decided to stay behind. He knew that he shouldn't really interfere with their family affairs but he couldn't help himself. Amaryllis now has the very thing she hasn't had for 12 years and he couldn't just let her throw it all away into the dust.

He's not entirely sure if she truly loved them that's why he told her to think about it. He just doesn't want her to have any regrets afterwards. They will be sent into the arena in a few days. He can't predict what will happened in there but he tried to be optimistic about it.

He found himself lying at his bed while he made out patterns from the wood grains of the ceiling. What else can he do? Thinking about Amaryllis' situation will only remind him of the thing that she has that he longed for. He tried to distract himself; he tried to clear his mind but to no avail. Their family somehow managed to return to his mind after any attempts of distracting himself. He got up, heaved a big disappointed sigh and walked out of his room.

He looked around the penthouse; it was empty except for and Effie, who was sitting on the couch looking sad as ever.

He sat next to her. She felt his presence. "You haven't gone to training yet." She said it as a statement and not as a question. He noticed the sadness in her tone. It is evident that she was also affected by the "thing"

"Nope but don't worry it's still early. Where's Haymitch?" he asked.

"He's going to be out for a while; said something about doing a little research." she said in reply.

They remained silent for a while. Maximillian wanted to talk to her about Amaryllis but he just doesn't know how to start the topic. It would be awkward to do so, this much he knows. Lucky for him Effie was the one to speak up first.

"Is my daughter alright?" she asked.

"I don't really know..." he replied.

"It's our fault isn't it? We should've been more quiet or we shouldn't have done it in the first place... I've lost her once again..." she stated.

He remained quiet. In a way, it was there fault but he knows that Amaryllis is to be blamed as well. They should've all taken it slowly. If they did, their situation wouldn't be as severe as this.

"She just doesn't know how lucky she is yet..." he said in reply.

"I still don't understand it. Why are you doing this; giving up your life for hers? Not that I'm not thankful or anything like that but why?" she asked.

"It's simple really; I have nothing to live for. My parents are both dead and so is my sister... I don't even have friends..."

"Amaryllis looks up to you like a big brother." She replied; hoping that her statement will make the young boy much happier.

"Oh, she does? I never knew that." he smiled ever so slightly. It's funny how he would care about her; like a little sister. Maybe it's because she reminded him so much of his deceased sibling.

"Your sister was a tribute correct?"

"She was..."

"I remembered her. She's quite a charming girl and really friendly too." Effie gave him a sad smile.

"Yup, that's my sister." he confirmed.

"I'm really sorry... I bet you blame me. First your sister and now you..."

"Don't be, she's with my parents now. Dad who died in a mining accident and mom, whom dad said died during childbirth..."

"Whom dad said? You're not sure?" she asked.

Maximillian thinks that Effie's intruding too much on his personal life but he hasn't talked about his mother in detail to anyone, not even to his sister and father. Maybe Effie will understand, he's not entirely sure that she will but she might.

"It's really weird. It's kind of vague but I remember this nightmare. It was days after my sister was born, my father brought my sister and I to the basement and told us to be really quiet. From upstairs I could hear my mother scream and in the morning I found my father sprawled onto the floor; bloody and injured. It felt so real." He buried his head into his hands in frustration. He would sometimes think that all of that really did happened and that would confuse him.

"That must have been horrible."

"It was... I wonder what it feels like... to have a mother..." there was a hint of sadness in his voice. Effie sensed it but she didn't say anything.

They sat together in silence for what seemed like forever then Effie spoke up. "Get up now! You're already late for training."

"But I don't feel like going yet..." he groaned.

"Up up up! Tardiness is an awful trait to develop...son..."

"Oh, alright... I'll go..." He walked towards the door and before he left, he looked back at Effie and smiled "Maryl and I will see you later then...mom..." she smiled in reply.

After that Effie was left alone. With nothing to do, she turned on the television; reruns of the old games were playing. She tried to watch them for a while but seeing the tributes die reminded her of all the children of 12 that were slaughtered and it made her imagine of her daughter's possible death. She turned the television off and everything was silent once more. She let herself drift off to sleep.

"Princess, wake up!" A voice called.

She woke up to see Haymitch shaking her shoulders. She could tell that he was worried but what on earth could ever make him worry like that?

"Wha-what's the matter?" she asked groggily.

"I sneaked into the filing room.

"You did wha-"

"Before you scream like a banshee, know that I wasn't caught on the hidden camera."

"Well, I certainly hope not!"

"Going back to the topic, I noticed something in the list of tributes. Most of them are orphans or kids with single parents." he said.

"You don't suppose they-"

Haymitch could only nod in reply.

* * *

**Ugh, okay... now the story is progressing too slowly... Well, the next chapter will be on their ratings so I guess that would speed things up. The Max and Effie mother/son-ish fluff was suggested by nzlouise. Feel free to suggest. I always read the reviews. Tell me what you guys think okay? Is my grammar improving?**


	13. Rube Goldberg Machine

**I-I'm just gonna stop talking now...**

* * *

President Snow looked out into the far corner of his garden. He watched him walk closer and he smiled deviously as he took a sip of his earl grey tea. The man walked through the cobblestone pathway that leads to the center of the garden. He watched him with a strange mixture of trust and conviction.

"You called for me sir?" said Seneca as he took a step closer to the president.

"Ah Mr. Crane... Yes, I need to talk to you about the upcoming games."

"I assure you. This year will be one of the best." he said with an air of confidence.

Snow smiled at him and took a sip of tea. He is still unsure if the man can fulfill his requests but nevertheless, his demands were not that hard to meet. It is even probable that he'll get his way without Seneca knowing of his intentions but he knows that it's better to be safe than sorry.

He looked over to his side and grabbed a manila envelope. He gently pulled out a cream-colored folder and handed it to the man before him.

Seneca took the folder into his hands and looked at it curiously. Is he suppose to open it or merely keep it? He looked back at him questioningly and Snow nodded in approval. He touched the edge of the folder with his thumb and flipped it open. Inside, he found a paper fastened to it; containing an incomplete list of tributes:

_**District 3:**_

_**Skye Damien Tyler**_

_**Ophelia Nelson**_

_**District 4**_

_**Waterford Titus Fedson**_

_**District 6**_

_**Marcus Kennedy Warstone**_

_**Solaria Juliette Turner**_

**_District_**_** 8:**_

_**Cloe Anika Guliver**_

_**District 9:**_

_**Damaris Bailey Meller**_

_**District 10:**_

_**Helios Scott**_

_**Lovina Marie **_**_Hefner_**

_**District 12:**_

_**Maximillian Radley**_

_**Erianthe May Abernathy**_

His eyes looked through every single item on the list. One entry has particularly caught his attention but nevertheless he is confused by the list itself. What could make these kids any different from the others?

Snow saw through him and decided that he should answer Seneca' silent questions. "All of the children on the list are impure. They have both the blood of the Capitol and the Districts. They should not exist."

"Ah, so they're mockingjays"

Snow flinched a little upon hearing the word mockingjay; such foul creatures- a constant reminder of their mistakes, creatures that should never have existed. Nevertheless, he was able to recompose himself and answer. "Precisely, I also want you to make them suffer. Inflict the worst psychological and physical pain."

Seneca smiled and answered with uttermost confidence. "Don't worry sir, I'll see to it that they will suffer." He glanced back at the list and asked. "Abernathy had a daughter? I don't remember her being reaped."

Snow furrowed his eyebrows upon hearing the name. He loathes them both; father and daughter alike and in a way, he's afraid of both of them. He knows that Haymitch was once a threat but he's confident that he's forever broken now. What about his daughter? Is it possible that she has the same fighting spirit as her father? Maybe not, but he can't be too careful.

"She's also known as Amaryllis Porter- a child of a victor and a district escort. Kill her off and destroy the hope of their kind. I'm counting on you Mr. Crane."

* * *

The next few days were pretty pretty much uneventful for any of them. Amaryllis, who still haven't recovered from the 'thing' continued to ignore her parents; only speaking to them when absolutely necessary and her replying in short one word phrases. Effie, who was extremely concerned about her daughter does everything in her power to try and make it up to her. Haymitch, who thought that Amaryllis merely needed time to heal, tried to shrug it off and hide his true feelings regarding the situation. Max, who was tired of the awkward atmosphere, decided to turn his full attention to training.

"Maryl, Will you please concentrate?" Maximillian begged as he saw his fellow tribute miss another shot.

"I'm trying, okay!"

She looked towards her target; she raised the knife and positioned it to point towards the bulls-eye. She wanted the shot to go in badly; to prove to her fellow tribute that the recent events hasn't affected her concentration in the slightest. She knew that her father has instructed them both to not show so much skill during training but considering the circumstances she would is more than willing to shrug off anything that her parents would tell her. She threw the knife; it barely landed within the range. They were both unsatisfied with the results.

He heaved a big sigh before walking towards her and taking the knives away from her hands. "You're extremely distracted..."

"And you're cranky today. Maybe you're extremely constipated." she asked sarcastically.

"Harsh words for a twelve year old... Maybe you should go train alone for a while." he said in reply.

"Nah, I think I'll go train with Bailey."

Maxed heaved another sigh and furrowed his eyebrows upon hearing the name. It is quite obvious that he doesn't enjoy her presence very much and that he prefers if Amaryllis will stay away from her as well.

Amaryllis noticed the sudden change in his expression. She cocked her head in confusion and asked "You don't use to hate her this much. She likes you you know so what's wrong?"

"That's exactly what's wrong!" he exclaimed in reply.

"Why? What's so wrong with that?"

"You'll understand when you're older."

"You make it sound like tree tapping." She smirked.

Maximillian turned a into a deep red. "N-no, it's nothing like that at all!" he stuttered defensively.

"Just be careful with that spile okay?" She smirked before towards Bailey. She still can't believe she was able to say that without acting like a total idiot. Is that even normal for a twelve year old? Maybe she's just getting used to those kind of topics. Nevertheless, it could help her get along better with her parents.

She was holding a bow and arrow and it would seem that she's aiming it at one of the equipment. She heard someone approach and she instinctively looked over her shoulder. She lowered her weapon as she saw her friend approaching.

"Hey Maryl!"

"Hi! Erm, what are you doing?"

"I am merely practicing. We will all be rated soon and a Rube Goldberg machine would be most appropriate trick for me to show to the gamemakers."

"Rube Gold-what?"

"Rube Goldberg. It is a device that does simple tasks through complex means. Here, let me demonstrate." She raised her weapon once again and aimed the arrow at the button of one of the training equipment. She let an arrow loose and it hit the said button. The machine roared to life and it spewed out a ball that bounced back from the opposite wall. It then hit an arrow that was set up to aim at a target. The arrow flew towards the bulls-eye; a perfect shot.

No doubt that Amaryllis was impressed but of course, she was confused by the need to make such a simple thing difficult. Would it not defeat it's purpose of being simple? "Okay, that is cool but why does it have to be so complicated? Just shoot the arrow directly." she asked.

"It's merely for presentation. The people of the capitol thirsts for entertainment so supplying them with the entertainment that they need will certainly increase my chance of survival." Bailey said in reply.

Amaryllis was confused by her friendliness. It's true that they've been thinking of forming a team but it would seem as though she's telling her too much. "Why are you showing me all of this? To a fellow tribute?" she asks.

"I really don't know. It's complicated; life's just one huge Goldberg machine I guess..." she said in reply.

"But life's already complicated." Amaryllis stated.

"It doesn't always have to be."

"What makes it so?"

"Different circumstances... A lot of factor are involved. Listen, when you have the chance to make life simpler for you do so. Making it harder won't really help."

"Make things simpler huh?"

"Yeah, sometimes the solution to a problem is just staring at you right in the face but you're just afraid to take it. You must though, there's never really enough time. We can't just leave things unsolved, it will be too late soon..."

Amaryllis sat on the cold hard floor, heaved a big sigh and closed her eyes. For the past few days she has been afraid but what exactly is she afraid of? Could it be that she was so caught up in dreaming a fantasy life with perfect parents that she has forgotten that they are only human and that she fears that they are not the parents that she has dreamed of?

Bailey is right; the solution is just there. She just have to answer Maximillian's question 'Do you really love your parents?' She does; it doesn't matter that they've only known them for a few days- she still longed for them and they longed for her. They're a family and nothing will ever change that. She knew well that she must fix this. She's running out of time and she must mend every single complication that she has caused before it's too late.

"Maryl, it would seem that you are troubled. May I be informed on whatever caused you to be in such a state of turmoil?" A voice broke her away from her trance. She looked up and saw the concern in her friend's eyes. She gave her a reassuring smile and got up.

"Oh thank you so much, Bailey!" She exclaimed as she hugged her confused friend.

"I am unaware of what deed I have actually done to aid you but nevertheless I am most joyous to have helped you."

Amaryllis loosened her hold on her friend and looked at her questioningly. "You're talking funny." She said.

"Oh, I speak like that after I study and I am trying to know about the games as much as I can."

"Okaaay... Anyway, I need to go. I'll come back later!" She said as she rushed out of the door.

"Wait! Training is not over yet!" Bailey called out to her but her efforts were all in vain.

Amaryllis rushed through the halls of the well-decorated Capitol building. She slowed down for nothing.

* * *

"Maryl has been gone for a few days and I already miss her..." Diyella stated as she looked over to Rye's figure by the windowsill.

"We all do... She was a good friend. I just wish we all could have spend more time together..." Rye said in reply.

"Yeah..."

The two of them were so overcame with grief that they didn't notice the sound of the footsteps that were gradually getting closer. The steps stopped by the door and a woman looked at the two children with concern.

"You two should have more confidence in her. Who's to say that she won't win?" reasoned Mrs. Porter.

"Who's to say that she won't die... I'm sorry, I guess I'll just miss her." said Rye.

Diyella looked over to his friend once again and noticed the tears that were daring to fall from his face. This wasn't the Rye that she knew. He'd never let anything make him this unhappy so what happened? She turned her attention to the woman by the door and asked. "Rye's not his usual cheery self. Why is that Mrs. Porter?"

She walked towards the little girl and crouched down the floor with her. "I guess he just realized something..."

"What did he realize?"

She gave her a sad smile and replied "One of the most important things in life."

_You never knew what you've got until it's gone..._

* * *

__**And no, Rye isn't in love with Amaryllis... **

**Anyways, I had to choose a name so I decided to combine the suggestions of Shadamyrox13 and nzlouise. I used the suggestions of Narcissesme, ClumsyCapitolUnicorn, Sorceress Of The Fake, Thalia Mellark and egel-0507 for the other tributes' names. I combined a few names so I hope that's okay and if I forgot to mention someone who suggested please tell me and I will properly thank them in the next chapter.  
**

**I didn't push through with my first idea and it took me a really long time to finish this but here it is. I'm also thinking of adding in a one sided-senffie sort of thing but I guess that would be too much. What do you guys think?**

**Anyways, sorry for the long update but I do hope you guys liked this chapter. Please review :D**


	14. Ice Cream

**Okay, so this is chapter 14 :D**

* * *

She watched the dial rise along in accordance to the elevator; in a few moments she'll reach the topmost floor. It is then only that she starts to rethink her actions and realize that escaping training is something that is both reckless and stupid to do. It is quite notable that she has the habit of not thinking things over which is quite common among prepubescent teens. She doesn't know if her parents will be able to forgive her on her past actions and her reckless behavior for today but she doesn't have much of a choice now. There's no turning back and she is well-aware of this and is willing to accept all possible consequences.

Her hands went cold when she heard the elevator doors open. She took a step onto their seemingly-empty penthouse suite and scanned the place with her eyes. A couple of minutes later she turned around and started to walk back towards the elevator. Haymitch, who just came out of the kitchen with a glass of wine, noticed his daughter and called out to her. Hearing her name called, Amaryllis turned around to face her father.

"Shouldn't you be in training, sweetheart?" Haymitch asked.

Amaryllis paused for a while to gather up her thoughts but this was useless for she suddenly found herself fumbling with her own words. Haymitch looked at her with concern and confusion.

"D-dad, I'm s-sorry for the way I acted... T-that was uncalled for." She stuttered.

She took in a deep breath and prepared herself for the worst. It's true that is is very likely that her father will forgive her but nevertheless, there is a possibility that this will not be the case. She however, didn't expect her father to laugh. She looked at him questioningly; wondering what could have made his father laugh like that.

"Oh sweetheart, you don't have to say sorry. Let's just shrug it off, no big deal." He said in reply.

Amaryllis smiled at her father and hugged him tight. "Thanks daddy!"

Haymitch hugged her daughter back. It's true that their relationship has been a little unstable for the past few days and it's true that his daughter has just escaped training but he knows better than to let that affect him in anyway. Besides, a little break from training might do her good.

"You know, you're mother might not take it as well as I did though." Haymitch stated as he loosened his hold on his daughter.

Amaryllis' eyes widened into the size of saucers when realization hit her. Of course reasoning with her mother will be a lot harder. Still, she knows that she must to it.

"Well, wish me luck then..." she said in reply.

"Will do, sweetheart... Will do..." he said right before dumping the contents of his glass down his throat.

She walked towards the door of her mother's bedroom. She gave her father one final look; asking him if she's really in there. He nodded in reply so she turned her attention back towards the door and gently knocked on it's wooden surface.

"M-mom, it's me- Amaryllis. Can I please come in?"

The doorknob turned and the door opened a little; just big enough for Amaryllis to slip through.

She went inside the room. Amaryllis has never been in her mother's room so her eyes immediately fell upon the room's decor. Unsuspectingly it was similar to her own room , the walls were painted white except for one that is completely covered with a mirror and the decors were modern yet simple. Unlike hers however, the drawers were lined with bottles filled with make up, skin creams and the like.

"Is there something you need, sweetie?" Effie asked.

Her mother's voice broke away her attention on the room. She looked up to her mother but instead of seeing the fancily dressed district escort she saw a blonde woman dressed in a simple slip, her face devoid of any sort of make up. Her honey blonde hair fell short at her shoulders and her face was starting to show the fine lines of age but they are barely visible and are most likely caused by stress than age itself.

Amaryllis thought that her mother looked beautiful but she can't help but think that her mother's looks looked extremely familiar. She gave a slight glance towards the mirror to confirm her suspicions. True enough, she was physically a younger version of her mother with slightly longer hair and gray eyes.

"What's the matter?" Effie asked with concern.

"M-mom... I-I'm sorry for the way I acted. That was really uncalled for. Can you please forgive me?" She said.

Effie gave her daughter a slight smile right before pulling her into a hug. It felt so good to hold her daughter in her arms once again. She knows well that time is fading fast and it is probable that she will never feel her warmth after the games. "Of course... In fact, I think that it would be us that owes you an apology."

"Oh mommy, it wasn't your fault. I think I might have overreacted." Amaryllis said in reply.

Effie led them to sit down on the edge of her bed. She smiled at her sweetly before replying. "Well, you're still a young child so that is completely understandable."

"Yeah, but still, I'm really sorry..."

"Listen, your father and I know that we aren't perfect. We're well-aware that the same rules applies to you. Your a good daughter though; better than I was actually but you still have flaws and we're more than willing to accept them. I hope you that you can accept our faults as well..."

"You know I do, mom. I very much do..."

"Good" She pulled her daughter in for another hug.

"I'm glad we had this talk..."

"Me too, sweetie. It's a good thing that they dismissed you earlier today."

"But they didn't." She said in reply.

Effie's eyes widened to the size of saucers, she loosened her hold on her daughter and glared at her. She was extremely disappointed with Amaryllis; she knows better than to escape training. What if she got caught? They could take it out on all of them and that could be an act that can cause her her own life which would deem all their preparations useless.

"You escaped training!?"

She noticed the change in her mother's tone and noticed the scowl on her face. Her heart raced; she is in no mood for a good scolding. She knows better than to lie though. "Ummm, I-I guess I d-did... I-I got carried away..."

"I'd say! Now let's go, your father needs to know about this." She exclaimed as she roughly dragged her daughter towards the door.

She abruptly opened the door and they both saw Haymitch leaning against the door frame.

"I take it things didn't go too well..." Haymitch said sarcastically.

"We have a serious situation here! Amaryllis escaped training..."

"So? she needs a little break once in a while." he replied.

"You do know that they might take it out on all of us!" She stated. It is quite obvious that she's starting to get annoyed with Haymitch as well. She had expected him to take their situation more seriously but maybe she shouldn't. He usually takes these things calmer than she does.

"It's just training; nothing too serious. How can they take it out on her anyways? On us? We didn't tell her to leave. They're already sending her to the arena. What more can they do, anyway."

Amaryllis noticed her mother glare at her father and it is noticeable that he's getting pretty annoyed too. Sensing a fight, she knew that she must do something to prevent them from arguing any further. "Mom, I'm sorry. I can go back to training if you want..." she said.

"Maybe you should..." Effie agreed.

Haymitch looked at the both of them and shook his head. "No, it wouldn't matter. You've already done and training will be over in a couple of hours. Besides, I think you really do need a break."

Amaryllis looked over to her mother and noticed that she has softened her gaze. It would seem that she has agreed to Haymitch's reasoning and there is no need for further explanation.

"So ummm... Mom, why are you half-dressed?"

Haymitch glanced towards Effie. His eyes filled with lust. Effie glared in reply. She turned her attention towards her daughter and said "Well, we're preparing to go out today while you and Max are in training and I was planning to change my outfit."

"Oh, can I come?" asked Amaryllis.

"Hmmm, I don't know. Effs, I think we should also stay. Maybe do some other _activity..._" Haymitch smirked.

"Haymitch! Not in front of our daughter." Effie warned.

"I don't think I'm the only one to blame, princess. Your clothing ain't exactly helping your cause."

Amaryllis, sensing the growing sexual tension between her parents took a few steps back and stammered "Maybe I should go..."

Effie knows that their current situation must be really awkward to their daughter so despite her growing desires she decided to do what's best. "No, I'll get dressed. You too, Amaryllis. We'll leave in a minute." she said before walking back into her room and closing the door shut.

Haymitch sighed in disappointment as he walked away from Effie's door. Amaryllis on the other hand, sighed and relief and happily walked back to her room to prepare.

* * *

"Mom, I still don't understand why I have to dress like this when dad doesn't have to..." Amaryllis said as she looked at her own reflection in the window of a fur shop.

Her mother made her wear a frilly pink and purple dress covered in sparkles and baby pink hair extensions were placed on her head. It was way too much for her simple tastes.

"It's obvious that Cinna didn't design this dress. It's way too _simple._" she said sarcastically.

Effie pulled her daughter away from the store window and exclaimed "Amaryllis don't do that. It's bad manners to use a window as a mirror." She looked around if anyone was close enough to hear; no one was so she crouched and whispered "I know you don't like this but no one must know that we brought you out here and please don't call me and Haymitch mom and dad for a while. Okay?" Her daughter merely nodded in reply.

"So what's our agenda?" Haymitch asked.

"Ah, I know this great ice cream place that I know Amaryllis will love. A thousand different flavors!" Effie exclaimed in excitement.

Amaryllis smiled in excitement. She had eaten ice cream before but she never knew that there could be over a thousand flavors.

They walked towards the said shop and Amaryllis ordered a mint chocolate vanilla sundae, Effie ordered a strawberry and orange sherbet and Haymitch had a rum raisin popsicle. The ice cream was delicious but that wasn't the main reason that made Amaryllis happy. For the first time in her life she felt like a normal girl; both of her parents are alive and their main concern was what ice cream flavor tasted the best. She knew that this moment will end soon and there's a possibility that this will never happened again but she has the present and right now, that's all that matters to her.

* * *

They all went back to their penthouse with smiles painted on their faces. Amaryllis was the first one to walk out of the elevator and the smile was quickly wiped away from her face when she saw Maximillian glare at her.

"Why'd you leave me to train alone w-with- with-" he stammered.

"Bailey?" she smirked.

"Yeah, it was annoying. She kept going 'Where did Maryl go?' Did I mention that her hand almost touched mine." he complained.

"Aren't you too old to believe in cooties?"

"I didn't say that I still do. All I'm saying is that I don't want to be with her. Is that so hard to understand?"

"What I don't understand is why you dislike her so much."

Maximillian sight in frustration. In reality he also doesn't know why. "It's hard to explain okay. I'll be in my room, call me when dinner is ready." he said before walking to his room and shutting the door tight.

Effie and Haymitch looked at their daughter questioningly to which she replied by saying that maybe Maximillian is just having some girl trouble.

Haymitch and Amaryllis stayed in the sitting room; watching some of the old games as they thought of a good strategy. Effie on the other hand decided to go to her room to rest for a short while. She was just getting herself comfortable when her computer started beeping; signifying a coming video call. Effie wondered who could ever call her but nevertheless she answered it. She was shocked to see that it was none other than Seneca Crane on the other line. Seneca had always courted Effie but she kept rejecting all of his advances for she loves no other man but Haymitch.

"Hi Effie, you're looking as lovely as always." he said.

"Mr. Crane, what made you call at this time?" She dislikes him but nevertheless she still tried to talk to him in a polite manner.

"Just an offer that you cannot refuse."

Effie tried to hold her temper. She's sick and tired of Seneca's advances. "I'm not interested in any of your gifts." she replied.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll be interested in this one. It's Erianthe's life." he smiled deviously.

Effie suddenly felt a tightness in her chest. She can hardly believe it; he knows about her daughter, there's no doubt about it. But what could the head gamemaker possibly want?

"W-who a-are you talking about?" she stammered.

"Oh, you know damn well who I'm talking about, dollface. I'll make this quick, marry me or goodbye mini Effie. Oh, and if you tell you're family about our little deal-well, you probably already know what will happen."

Effie remained silent. She knows well that, as the head gamemaker, Seneca is more than capable of saving her daughter's life but is she willing to give up her freedom and happiness for her daughter's life? She also knows that if she were to make the deal with Seneca she would leave Haymitch heartbroken, Amaryllis would be a wreck and would hate her for leaving Haymitch as well. This doesn't just concern her well-being but everyone else's as well. Is she willing to risk it all?

"Cat got your tongue? Tell you what, I'm giving you until tomorrow. I'll talk to you again after I rate the tributes. I'll see you around dollface." he said before signing off.

Effie kept staring at the blank screen; she's at a complete loss. She felt her heart shattering. If she were to agree to Seneca's plan can she still look at herself without disgust, knowing that she sold her freedom and dignity to a man she can't help but abhor? If she were to refuse and her daughter were to die can she still look at herself without disgust knowing that there was a way to save her daughter but she was too selfish to do it. She tried to stifle her tears but to no avail so she stopped trying and let them fall.

Maximillian; who was the only one at close range to hear the strange beeping heard their entire conversation. He knows that he must do something to help her. He would prefer that she refuse the deal but even he himself is unsure if that is the right choice.

_Torn between crossroads; Is life better than the will to live?_

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**Well, this chapter took me a while... -_- Anyway, since most of you seem to favor the mild seneffie I decided to include it. The whole deal thing was an idea that I got from nzlouise... Feel free to suggest guys ^_^ but don't feel bad if I don't take it.  
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**Anyways, please review when you have time. Thank you for reading. I'm glad everyone seems to be liking this fic :D**


	15. Gamemakers

**Okay, so some characters are a little OOC -_-... Someone mentioned this in chapter 13 or 12 I think and more of them have seen this in 14. For me this is like a capital sin in non-parody or non-comedic fanfictions. I mean if I'm just going to make my characters OC then why did I write a fanfic in the first place? Why not just make an original?**

**So anyways, a lot of major repairs need to be done and I have to make it connect to the previous chapters. I have an idea for this, which you will probably notice in upcoming chapters and I hope it works but I'm honestly beginning to loose hope because I'm not even a good writer in the first place T_T**

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Amaryllis walked to the entrance of the training center; still unsure of what she's going to do. Her first plan was to just throw a few knives and show off her extensive knowledge on herbs; that way the gamemakers will know that she can defend herself against mutts and other tributes and can also survive in the wilderness. Bailey's little exhibition however, made her change her mind.

She asked her if she can also use the Rube Goldberg trick. Bailey allowed her but warned her that it might cause her more harm than good for she wasn't able to plan nor practice. Plus, precise aim and computation is needed for it to work. It was risky but so very tempting.

Deciding on her original plan; she walked towards the weapons rack and immediately grabbed hold of a small brown leather pouch. There were about five inside; which was enough for her to show off her skills. She walked towards her target, gripped a knife at the right angle and aimed the blade to the bulls-eye. She threw the blade and it landed an inch away from the center.

Unsatisfied with her first shot she took another knife hurled it towards the target and it landed squarely on the center. She looked at the gamemakers with a big grin on her face but this quickly turned into a frown for only a couple of them were actually paying any sort of attention to her. She was loosing her audience to a dead, spit-roasted, crisp-skinned yet juicy pig.

She looked around at the whole area. She must do the Goldberg trick, else she'll get a low score for sure. She eyeballed everything; there was no time for computation. She threw the knife towards the same button Bailey hit when she showed her the trick. It missed and the knife felt in a clink next to the machine.

The booming laughter of the head gamemaker was heard in the entire training center. She glared at him with instinctive contempt and she gripped a knife tightly with her sweaty palm. It was more of a reflex action than anything else. She hates being mocked and her short temper isn't really helping her cause.

She aimed the knife directly at his head. He didn't notice it for he was too distracted and was relatively surprised when the blade brushed against his hair; slicing a few strands before it lodged itself into the wall behind him.

He glared back at her with fury and it was then that she realized her horrible mistake. Of course her mother would be angry and her father might be too but there not here right now and who says they have to know. She decided to apologize but quickly changed her mind when she figured out that showing any "sign" of weakness would cause her score.

"That was just a demonstration with a live subject. I can do a better job with another tribute- you know, someone I'm actually allowed to kill." She smirked, returned her weapons to the shelf and walked away without uttering another word.

Seneca followed her with his eyes. It was quite obvious to him that the shot was done out of fury. He swears to himself that he would kill that _bastard _but Effie doesn't have to know that.

* * *

She remained quiet for the rest of the day. She only spoke when asked and she would answer in one word replies. Max and her parents tried their best to find out what was wrong with her but she refused to let them in. It was then that Haymitch and Max thought that she was merely worried about her score and didn't bother her any further. Effie on the other hand, remained concerned.

The screen flashed to life and the scores were announced, starting with the boy from district one who got a score of 9, while his partner got an 8. Both tributes from 2 got a score of 10. The boy from 3 got a 5 while his counterpart got a 6. The boy from 4 got an 8 and the girl got a 7.

Amaryllis didn't pay any attention to the next ones. Of course the careers got high scores but what about her? She'll most likely get a low score of 3 or maybe even a 2 from her exhibition.

The announcement for the score of 9 broke her away from her thoughts. "9, of course Bailey got a high score. The Goldberg trick was impressive if done correctly." she said to herself. Both tributes from 10 got a 5. The boy from 11 got an 8 while the girl, who was the same age as her got a 7. Max got an impressive score of 9.

She breathed heavily as her name was called... "and the last but not the least...Amaryllis Porter got a score of 12..."

She stared at the screen with her mouth agape. Her mother squealed with joy, Cinna and Maximillian exclaimed congratulations and her father gave her a pat on the back.

"So what did district 12's fearless warrior do?" Maximillian teased.

"She threw a few knifes..." she smirked.

"Knife throwing? That got a 12? What did you do? Split a knife lodged in the bulls-eye in half?"

"Well no... Listen, it's been a really long day and I just wanna rest. I'll be in my room, okay?" She said as she walked away from the others.

"Wait! don't you want any dinner? We should celebrate and have some chocolate-covered strawberries!" Called out Effie.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry..." she said as she closed the door shut.

It was then at that instant did Haymitch figure out that his daughter is not telling them something so once all of the excitement has passed a little he knocked at her door.

"Anything wrong, sweetheart?" he asked...

"No, everything's fine..." she answered.

"Then will you open the door."

"I want some privacy!"

"Tell me what's wrong. I won't get angry, I promise..."

"I'd rather not..."

His patience was wearing thin and he knows that they are getting to nowhere so he called out once again only this time there was a hint of anger in his voice that he didn't really expect to come out. "Darn it Maryl! Open this door! I just want to help!"

A few seconds later she opened the door and looked at her father with sorrowful eyes. "You said you wouldn't get angry..."

"I'm sorry... Now can you tell me what's wrong?" he said with concern in his voice.

Amaryllis immediately closed the door and signaled her father to sit on the edge of the bed. She sat next to him and she sighed heavily.

"So what happened in there?" he asked.

She paused momentarily before giving her reply "That's not my only issue, dad..."

"Then, what's wrong?"

"Well, first of all I aimed my knife at the head gamemaker's head."

She expected him to be mad and disappointed at her and she prepared herself for a good scolding but the exact opposite happened. He snickered and gave her a pat on the back.

"Well done sweetheart, like a true Abernathy..." he smiled.

"Thanks dad!"

"So how'd they react when you hurled the knife at the jerk's head."

"Well, the guy with the weird beard looked at me with loathing but the others had their eyes open as wide as saucers and their mouths were open. Like this..." She said as she started to replicate the reaction that she saw.

Haymitch laughed louder. "R-really! Oh man, I wish I could've seen it... Brilliant! Brilliant."

After a few moments of praise, Haymitch's tone became more serious and he asked her if there was something wrong. She of course told him the truth and how she doubts that the ratings will actually help her in the games.

"You see sweetheart, those ratings are for sponsors and sponsors can help you win." he stated matter-of-factly.

"But what if I don't even make it through the bloodbath?"

"That's why you need to get out of there immediately. They'll go after you like a bone thrown to a bunch of dogs."

"Dad, do you really think I can win?"

Haymitch paused for a while. He knows well that her chances of getting out of there alive is one in a million. No twelve-year old has ever won the games and he doubts that she'll be the first. He recalled his own games- 48 tributes and only one comes out alive. He spend a full two weeks in that arena; two weeks of enough pain and suffering to drive one to insanity. He's sure that she won't be able to survive the 74th if the current games would be similar to his.

"Do you really want to know the truth?" he asked.

She merely nodded in reply.

"No, I don't think you can win. I barely won mine... I doubt you can even survive the first day." he told her.

"Oh, but maybe with your help-"

"I'm trying but it won't guarantee you a win..." He wanted to say that he can and that he will but he cannot lie to her. It would be better for her to know the truth anyways.

He really wished that he could but what can he do? He's just a useless drunk. He doesn't even deserve to be loved. He doesn't even know how Effie could have ever loved him but he's too selfish to let her go and he's even selfish enough to get her pregnant. No, he doesn't deserve to have a daughter and he doesn't deserve to be loved. This was all a mistake and he would keep on blaming on himself for it.

He refuse to show all of his self-loathing to Amaryllis though. He never faked a smile before but he's willing to do it for his daughter. He doesn't want her to be upset or for her to feel sorry for him. He needs no pity.

He does try though, to be a better person. He wasn't really doing it for himself but he was doing it for Amaryllis and Effie for he knows that they're both counting on him and they deserve someone better.

Amaryllis didn't speak a single word. She just looked up to him with bloodshot eyes. She smiled a sad smile before hugging him tight and strangely for once, Haymitch felt like a good father.

* * *

It was after dinner when Effie got another video call from Seneca. He smiled at her deviously and she tried to look unfazed.

"So, will you be Mrs. Seneca Crane or what?" he asked.

"She can win without your help!" she exclaimed.

"Is that your final answer? Well, it's wrong. You know well that she can't live without my assistance. I mean, without this deal she would've gotten a score of 2 thanks to her little performance." there was harshness in his tone. He tried to hide it but she sensed it still.

"2? How?" she asked.

"That little bastard messed up her trick and decided to take it out on me. I almost lost my head!" he growled with fury.

"Why give her a 12 then?"

"That score was just a sample of what I can do... Anyways, we'll get married during the games, to make sure you won't back out, your daughter will win and everyone's happy. What do you say, dollface? Do we have a deal?"

"Wait? How am I so sure that you won't betray me?" she asked with suspicion.

"Effie, I'm hurt... Just because I'm a gamemaker... Really! Why would I-" he faked a disappointed sigh before looking at her through the screen with sad eyes.

Amaryllis' 'kitten-like trust in humanity' was something that she got from her mother so as expected, she believed in Seneca's bad acting. Effie knows that it was more of a choice of life and the will to live than anything else. Yes, of course she'll choose her daughter's life over her freedom. She can't let her die, it doesn't matter if she would hate her. All that matters is that her daughter lives and that would be enough for her.

She was just about to open her mouth to reply when she heard the door creak. She glanced towards the door and saw the peering eyes of Maximillian.

"Wha-what was that!?" Seneca asked. It was then that she noticed that he didn't see Maximillian peeking through the crack of the door, which is a good thing.

"Oh sometimes the door just creaks open. I'll get an avox to fix it right away. Just wait a second..." She walked towards the door, got out of the room and closed the door shut. She looked at him with suspicion and exclaimed "That's bad manners! You shouldn't be listening in a private conversation. How much did you hear anyways?"

"I heard every word, even from your little chat with him last night but I haven't told anyone, not yet anyways..." he said in reply.

"Good, who knows what Seneca could do if he finds out someone else knows... Wait, do you intend on telling them about this!?" she replied in in an obviously scared tone.

"I won't as long as you don't agree to this!"

"I don't really have much of a choice..." she said in reply.

"Yes you do. Don't you trust me? Don't you trust Haymitch? And don't you trust her? We can get her out of there alive. I swear she'll win..." Maximillian was lying. He'll try but there's really no assurance that Amaryllis will win and even he himself would sometimes believe that the poor girl will suffer the same fate as his little sister but he can't tell that to Effie. He can't let her sell herself like this. Also, he questions if she should even trust a gamemaker.

"Max, I'm tired of false promises and you don't have any control over the arena and neither does Haymitch... As for Amaryllis, she's just twelve... If there's anyone who can save her-"

"Miracles can happened... Please, don't do this to yourself... Maryl will hate herself if she founds out about this... You don't want that do you?"

"I don't but who says she has to know?"

"She's a smart girl. She'll found out eventually. Just please, don't do this..."

"I-I-"

"Please... don't..."

"But I have to..."

"You don't have to... She'll live, I promise..."

She paused for a moment. She knows that he is determined to get Amaryllis out of the arena. How could she? How could she even think of questioning his ability and dedication?

"Alright... I'll go tell Seneca..."

She walked back into her room and sat in front of her video caller. Seneca was impatiently waiting for her in the other line. Effie noticed the impatience written in his face and this made her even more nervous.

"Took you a while... Got that door fixed?"

"Yes..." she lied.

"So, have you decided yet. My patience is wearing thin..."

"Well you see, she may be quite young but she's very skilled and she has trained a lot-"

"Just get to the point! Will I let your bastard live or not!?"

"Sir, I don't think we'll be in need of your services..."

"Wait, your little bastard escaped training. I let that pass and you and your drunk lover even sneaked her out of the building. Do you think I won't know about that? I let that pass and this is how you thank me!" the fury was notable in his eyes and Effie found herself unable to reply.

"I'm giving you another chance to change your mind. I'll meet up with you during the interviews. Think about it, okay?"

It was then that Effie started questioning her decision. Maybe she should sell her happiness. Everyone will get hurt, even Amaryllis in a way but then again...

_We hurt the ones we love the most..._

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**Sorry it took a while but meh, since when did I update early? Anyways, please review when you have time. Thanks...**


	16. Before the Interviews

**Sorry, sorry for the long update and sorry for my previously mediocre writing. I do hope that I have ****improved**

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Amaryllis got home from school with a smile plastered on her face. She managed to get a high score on a test. She skipped through the front door and greeted her parents a good afternoon. Her father's face lit up with joy upon seeing her. He put his liquor down and got up to greet her.

"Had a great day, sweetheart?" he asked her.

"I most certainly did, dad. I got the highest score on my math test. Where's mom? I want to show her my paper."

"She's in the kitchen making our supper. Keep up the good work!"

"I will!" She exclaimed gleefully.

She waltzed into their kitchen. Her mother hear her approaching and smiled at her.

"I take it you had a wonderful day."

"I got the highest score, mom and I thought I was going to fail."

"I'm really proud of you, sweetie." she smiled.

After a brief moment her father joined them. She looked at her parents lovingly. Everything that she thought has happened has never actually happened. She never lived in Panem, there is no dystopian government, she was never an orphan and there's no such thing as the Hunger Games.

For some unexplained reason her sight became blurry and she lost all of her senses. Her parents smiling faces suddenly blurred into the darkness. She was alone; she tried to scream but no sound came out of her mouth. She wanted to cry but the tears refused to fall.

She couldn't move; she found herself paralyzed in what appears to be the deepest depths of hell. Alone in the darkness; alone in her own solitude, no one could possibly save her. Then again, maybe she doesn't want to be saved. Maybe solitude is better than the pain; the pain of knowing that you could potentially hurt everyone you care about for merely existing.

Maximilian was willing to die in the arena for her sake, Granny Dorothy, one of the orphanage's workers would look at her with contempt yet would appear fearful of something whenever she's around, Rye would've been more popular without her dragging him down and she would've spared her parents from all of the pain she has/will cost them if she never existed.

A blinding light appeared before her. She questions herself; is the light the enemy or the friend and what about the darkness. It hides the things that we don't want to see and hides us from the people wherein we don't want them to see us and the light would reveal all of this. It would open us to the truth that we don't want to know.

Eventually the darkness faded away and she could feel herself able to move once again.

"Up up up! Today's a big big big big day!" Effie's cheerful voice broke her away from her slumber.

Amayllis sat up surprised. She was sweaty all over and a part of her hasn't fully recovered from her dream. She looked at her mother, terror-stricken.

Effie immediately noticed the fear in her daughter's eyes. She rushed towards her and wrapped her arms around her in a comforting embrace. Amaryllis heaved heavily and said nothing.

"Everything alright sweetie?" She asked.

She looked at her mother; making sure that this was no longer a dream. She smiled at her; knowing that she truly is back in her mother's arms. She savored that moment for a few minutes before breaking away from the embrace and replied "It was just a dream, nothing more. I guess I'll just need some breakfast, mom."

Of course dreams are merely thoughts; they can never physically harm her and they'll be over soon so she shouldn't fear them. Reality on the other hand, is something else-something much much worse.

Effie still looked at her daughter with concern but nevertheless she tried to shrug it off for there are more pressing matters at hand.

* * *

"Alright sweetheart, today's the interview."

"I know but what's my 'strategy'?" Amaryllis asked.

Haymitch pondered for a brief moment before replying "I think cute and innocent is more of your style."

This confused her; if everyone's impression on her would be cute and innocent then how will she ever win? Shouldn't she be showing them her aggressive and vicious side? "Dad, you can't be serious? H-how can I win?"

"Ah well, these people would always go for the good-looking ones. You can pull it off; you're twelve, you're cute and you're somewhat clueless." he said in reply.

Amaryllis raised her eyebrows upon hearing her father's latest statement. How can she be clueless? She has lived in one of the poorest districts, she grew up without any parents and she was thrown into the Hunger Games. If there's someone who should know about the real world that's her. "C-clueless?"

"Yeah, I think it's something that you took from your mother." he smirked.

"Ah, somebody's gonna be sleeping on the couch tonight."

Haymitch raised an eyebrow and looked at his daughter with mocked suspicion "What was that?"

"Oh nothing..." she replied sarcastically.

"You'll be fine, shouldn't be too hard right?" Despite having known his daughter for only a few days he's confident that she can pull off the interview easily. He recalled his own interview; it wasn't that hard for him and his daughter seemed to have more people skills compared to him. She'll probably appeal to the public better than he did he thinks.

"Fine, it's not like I have any other choice..."

"Well, I guess you should go to your mother for 'Capitol' training."

"Capitol training?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, you know... Smiling, acting all perky and bubbly when you're not, following certain manners; stuff that your mother normally does...

"It sounded a lot like you hated all of that."

"Well I do, sweetheart..."

"You know dad, I would sometimes wonder how I was even created in the first place." She joked.

Haymitch noticed her smart remark and decided to make a smart remark of his own. "So you want your mother and I to demonstrate it for ya?" He of course, has no plans of ever doing it.

She cheeks turned bright red from the embarrassment. She looked down onto the floor and replied "Erm, no."

Amaryllis rushed away from her father; trying to avoid an awkward conversation about what her parents does behind closed doors.

* * *

Amaryllis caught on with her mother's lesson pretty easily. She doesn't like the fact that she'll have to pretend to be in favor of the Hunger Games but what other choice does she have but to comply. She wanted to win.

After a few moments with her mother she was sent to Cinna. Immediately she noticed that he had something on his mind. She looked at him with suspicion and he soon noticed.

He was more concerned about her than himself really and he was afraid that he did something that could make her react to him like that so with genuine concern he asked her if she had any problems.

"Something on your mind?" she replied defensively.

It was then that Cinna knew the root of her concerns. He crouched down to her level and smiled "Don't worry your secrets are safe with me.

"M-my secret? Y-you m-mean my parents"

"I could tell that they're very proud of how you turned out."

"B-but t-they want me to win. I do to but I don't think I can."

Cinna smiled at her gently and said with pure honesty "Listen, you've come this far; you managed to walk up that stage without shedding a tear, you had the courage to provoke the gamemakers. Age never mattered; you can do this. You have enough fire in you..."

"I-I just don't want to do this..." She felt the tears slowly stream down her face. She hugged her stylist and he circled his arms protectively around her in return.

"I know, I'm sorry this happened to you. I wish I could do something more but I truly believe that you can win."

Amaryllis was the first one to broke off the hug. She gave him a sad smile and replied "But you already did. Thank you, thank you very much."

Cinna walked towards a cardboard box. He promptly opened it, grabbed the delicately placed dress inside and raised it up to show her. Amaryllis gasped in astonishment.

"I take it that you like it." Cinna smirked.

Amaryllis could only nod in reply.

After the preparations. She was lead to her seat and she sat down with the other tributes; listening in on the other interviews before her. She drew circles with her index on her dress; it was a nervous reaction.

The careers talked about their immense skill and strength. All of them looked threatening but the boy from District 2 was the one that Amaryllis feared most. He was one of the few who volunteered; he was big, muscular, very skilled in weaponry and his eyes were cold and merciless. He can easily snap her neck like a twig if he wishes too; she tried not to think about it though.

She then heard her name called. She anxiously got up and put on her best smile.

_A sad and delicate flower hides beneath the fake smile..._

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**Okay, I'm really sorry this took a while but I do hope that you guys liked this chapter...**_  
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**I also need your help with something; we all know that Katniss was known as "The Girl on Fire" and I need something to call Amaryllis I'm contemplating between "The Sparkling Flower of District 12" or "District 12's Sparkling Star". I was going to call her "The Sparkling Diamond" but then I realized something- she's not Satine. Seriously, she's a 12-year old tribute from Panem not a famous courtesan working in a well-known cabaret from 19th century France XD.**

**Sorry, I'm just getting major Moulin Rouge! (2001) feels. If you guys haven't watched the movie yet, I highly recommend it. **

**Anyways, please review when you all have time :D**


	17. Behind the Scenes

***Ahem* WARNING! I don't know what I ate/drank that made me write this chapter -_-... attempted rape scene... and sorry for updating late**

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"You should've told me sooner, Effie." Haymitch said in a low and sad voice.

They both sat at the back of the stage the whole entire time. Effie told him everything. She knew the risk and she knew the consequences well but she needed help and her heart could no longer bear to keep such an issue from him. She had to tell him; she doesn't have a choice.

"I didn't want you to get hurt..." she replied.

Haymitch looked at her with sadness and pity. In a way, he pities both Effie and their daughter. They don't deserve him; they deserve someone better. He knew this even then; even before Amaryllis was born. He sighed and said that they deserve someone better, someone like Seneca maybe.

"You do deserve us, I love you... We both love you... You're a wonderful person. Why can't you see that?"

"Listen, I am positive that there are only five people who ever thought that I was great and three of them are dead and I don't want to add Maryl to the list of people I got killed." he replied.

"She won't die; she has the same fire in you. It's just there waiting to be unleashed. She'll live; she has your wits and your support. We don't need Seneca, we need you..." Effie was pleading;strange as it may seem Haymitch was the one person she was ready to give her full trust to. It's true that Maximilian promised to get Amaryllis out of there alive, it's true that she has agreed to her daughter's wishes to form an alliance with other tributes and it's true that Seneca swore on getting her daughter out of there at the condition that she marries him. All of that can increase Amaryllis's chance to win but she placed all of her trust on Haymitch simply because she knows that he loves their daughter and he'd never let anything hurt her.

"I'm no good... I don't have the control but he does..."

"Yes, but he doesn't love her. He doesn't care if she gets hurt but you do! Why this? Why do you trust him so much all of a sudden?"

"I don't know what the hell that bastard is up to but you know that I'll do anything for her to win. Even if it means that I have to sacrifice everyone I love to that douche bag. I don't deserve you anyway... No, I don't trust him but I sure don't trust myself even more."

"Haymitch, I-" Effie stopped mid-sentence when she heard Ceasar call out their daughter's name. They both looked towards the screen that was placed in the backstage.

Everyone couldn't help but to look at her and gasp in astonishment. She was wearing a deep red dress that trails down to the soles of her feet; it was covered in tiny silver pieces that glittered in the light and she leaves a trail of silver sparkles wherever she goes. She has an artificial red and silver amaryllis pinned to her hair. She looked like a sparkling flower.

She put on her best smile and waved at the audience as she gracefully walked towards her place in the stage. She was a spectacle; her entrance garnered the most attention so far and even the other tributes; who tried to look uninterested couldn't help but to steal glances. Ceasar welcomed her warmly and she took her seat and looked out into the audience with the sweetest smile that she has ever put on.

"That's quite a dress you have there." he remarked with a huge grin on his face.

"Only the best from Mr. Cinna." she replied proudly.

"So tell me, how's your stay going?." he casually asked.

"Well sir, I can honestly tell you that it's nothing like District 12. The people are really nice and it's like this futuristic wonderland."

"That's because it is." He gave out a whole-hearted and the rest of the audience soon followed.

She looked towards the audience with a big smile on her face and despite not wanting to say it she exclaimed "Can somebody say best place on earth or what?"

The crowd cheered her on; everybody loved her. Ceasar has been known to help tributes make a good impression on the audience but at the rate that things are going Amaryllis doesn't really need that much help.

"So if it's not to personal... You're an orphan right? If you have a chance to see your parents one last time before entering the arena. What would you tell them?

For several days Amaryllis has already played out the interview in her mind; she readied herself for the difficult questions and tried to think of the best replies. Of course, she expected that he'd give out the easy questions first before he would give out the hard and personal ones. A part of her knew that the very question that Ceasar had asked will be given but she'd rather not answer it. It was just a matter of telling the truth or telling a lie. She chose the former: "I'd tell them that I'm glad to have this last moment with them even if there's a possibility that it'll be the last and I'll tell them that I would still try to win for them. Even if the odds are not in my favor."

"And win for them you shall... A score of 12; wow, just wow! How do you do it?"

"It's just a matter of skill, concentration and of course luck."

"Maryl you truly are a wonderful little girl- skilled, talented and cute too. Isn't that right folks? Don't we want more of her?" he addressed to the audience who exclaimed an excited yes.

"But sadly our time is up. Well, I guess we'll just be seeing more of you in the arena. Good luck to you and thank you for that wonderful interview."

"It's my pleasure Mr. Flickerman." she replied with a smile.

They both stood and Ceasar lead her to the front of the stage. He raised her hand and exclaimed "Amaryllis Porter! The Sparkling Star of District 12!" and everyone cheered.

So far she was the most well-received tribute and her score would only add up more sponsors. If it wasn't for her young age and small form one might say that the odds were truly in her favor but why start now? All her life she had received nothing but grief; she was separated from her parents at a young age, she fell out of place and she got reaped on her first year. Why must fate toy with such an innocent young girl? Maybe it's not fate but another force that might be just as powerful; a force that has been her unknowing puppeteer all of her life. One that's controlling her or at least, trying to control her. It's no use though; there's a fire within the confines of her very being that's waiting to come out and it's almost time.

Upon seeing their daughter's interview their troubles were momentarily removed from their thoughts and they both smiled with pride from their daughter's success.

She entered the backstage room with a giant smile plastered on her face. She looked at her parents and exclaimed proudly "I know I didn't stick to the plan but I do think that I did quite well."

"You were excellent. That was amazing!" exclaimed Effie.

"Well, it did go better than I expected. Good job, sweetheart." praised Haymitch.

"Thanks mom, thanks dad. I really did my best but I was really nervous... and that question... I nearly-" she stopped mid sentence, sighed and muttered a nevermind. Her parents immediately looked at her concern.

"Anything wrong, sweetheart?" Haymitch asked.

Amaryllis shook her head and gave them a fake smile. Of course something is wrong, everything is wrong. That question, the whole interview; one would expect that from her answer she'd be more hopeful and ready to face the arena but it isn't so. This is just another reminder, a wake up call if you may, that her dreams and fantasies are coming to an end. Tomorrow will probably the last day she'll see her parents and she's just not ready to loose them again.

I'm fine, don't worry. I'll just go and watch Max's interview, I'll be in the other room if you need me."

Haymitch and Effie didn't believe her. They both know that something is wrong. They looked at each other and as if having some sort of silent conversation Effie nodded her head ever so slightly to let Haymitch know that he needs to talk with their daughter but as soon as he leaves, the very person that she wants to avoid walks into the room.

"Awww, poor Maryl... Probably scared to death that she won't survive." Seneca said sarcastically.

"Wha-What do you want now!? W-Why a-are you here!?" she stammered.

"I thought we agreed to meet up after her interview, so have you decided yet?"

"Well I-" she was cut off.

"I knew it, still so unsure I see... My patience is wearing thin you know. I want an answer now! Do you want to save your bastard or your relationship with your drunk."

After having that talk with Max, she was starting to have doubts about agreeing on Seneca's plan but seeing as to how Haymitch approved of it she might agree after all."Nothing bad will happened to her right?"

"Well, I can't guarantee her to come out unscathed but she'll come out alive."

That was a good enough answer for Effie. She gently nodded her head and muttered a yes under her breath. Seneca smiled devilishly and said in a mocking tone "What was that? I didn't quite catch that."

"I said yes, I'll agree to your plans..." She said in a slightly louder tone.

"Can you say that again? My ears are rather weak today..." he said in a mocking tone.

"I said that I'm yours!"

His eyes filled with lust and he grabbed her roughly. She scowled at him and begged him to stop but he merely smiled at her and whispered that they need not to worry for there are no hidden cameras in that room. She resorted to pushing him away from her but he was way stronger than she'll ever be. He pinned her against the nearest wall; she kept struggling against his grasp but he merely laughed at her attempts and crashed his lips against hers. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth while sliding his hands beneath her blouse. She tried to scream but his tongue pushed in deeper; muffling the sound.

His hands felt around the inside of her shirt; her stomach, her back then he started sliding them beneath her bra. Effie struggled further as he felt his hands grope her. He felt his pants tighten so he slid out his hands from her top; he used the right to undo the button and zipper on his pants while the other held her down.

A gasp coming from an open door made him stop. They both looked towards that direction only to see a traumatized Amaryllis staring at them with tears daring to fall down her eyes. It took her a few moments to register everything and her shock slowly turned to anger until her face was red with fury. She focused most of her attention on Seneca. "YOU MOTHER FUC-" she was cut off as soon as a hand covered her mouth from behind; it was Haymitch's. As soon as she had cooled off a little he let go of her. Tears streamed down her eyes and without another word she took off running. With Seneca distracted it was easy for Effie to push him away and as soon as he escaped

He already told her that he was fine with her agreeing to Seneca's plans but he was hit with a bitter pang of jealousy when he saw them together. Selfish as it may seem; he couldn't let that happened again, he couldn't bear to see her with another man. His eyes filled with wrath as he moved closer to Seneca. He pinned him against the wall and tightened his knuckles until they were white. Seneca tried to escape but Haymitch was way stronger than him. He briefly looked around the room and said in an angry yet mocking tone "No cameras, right?" right before punching his face so hard that it knocked him out.

He would have beaten him to a pulp but he knows that he shouldn't do anything that might get Effie executed; he doesn't really care about what happens to him and he knows that Amaryllis wouldn't be punished because of the simple fact that she's a tribute. For the past few days he and his family have done a lot of things that could get them severely punished. It was rather surprising that they haven't been punished yet.

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**Ugh, what the hell has happened to this story. It's starting to look a lot like those telenovelas and soaps that I love to make fun of. Ohhh What's next? Maybe the protagonist's evil twin will marry her love interest with the thought that it actually is the protagonist. Then eventually the love interest will find out but it will be too late for the evil twin is already pregnant with his child. **

**Out of grief, the protagonist decides to travel to abroad in the hopes of escaping her sorrows. There she clicks it off with an incredible guy. He proposes to her and she accepts only to find out that he's actually his half brother from her father's side. His mother was a foreign whore that got together with their father once. Because of this she remembers her long lost love and becomes depressed. Her half-brother starts to pity her and help her find him. **

**After finding out that the child wasn't his but is actually his evil twin's (heck, everyone gets an evil twin in this story!) He decided to follow the protagonist to abroad. Upon meeting her half-brother, he helped them get together. He told her everything, they got back together, had 5 kids, he became an unemployed drunk, she had to become a whore to provide for their family. They fought and had hate sex every night. THE END!**

**I don't exactly know how hayffie will fit into that story but whatever...**

**Please 'r and r' and stay tuned for the next chapter**


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